I am a sick and heartless individual. I want nothing to do with others, and I am completely self-obsessed. I revel in witnessing other people's failures. I hate myself for this and I need to be punished. I already OD on heart medication weekly, at least. I'm aiming to slowly shut down my vital organs and give myself respiratory depression and bradycardia. But that isn't enough, I need more ways to punish myself, whether that be physically or emotionally. I don't care anymore. I want something awful enough to leave my body with permanent lasting damage to make up for all the suffering I've caused other people. I've already tried cutting myself, it doesn't work it's not intense enough.
Internal would be best. Something damaging but not enough to kill me or render me idiotic.
Internal would be best. Something damaging but not enough to kill me or render me idiotic.
