Isolation is one of the cheapest and most used forms of torture. With isolation, forced inactivity and lack of sleep you can torment people without having to devise anything complicated. Consequently, jail is torture but people pretend it is not.
The sad thing is I had to go to prison twice (for minor offenses). I was working 6 to 4, then 1 hour outside in the air and later 1 1/2 outside of cell; cooking or meeting other inmates. But being locked up almost 24 not able to work is torture.
Even sadder is the fact that in prison I had more social contact than I do have now. I feel more imprisoned now, sometimes locked up in my dark room for days, not able to work, grinding my brain what went wrong.
Finding no way out of my situation.
I had quite a few friends over the years, 3-4 girlfriends, was doing sports, I would say people liked me.
Though never was good in keeping relations with other people over more than a few years.
This isolation has been going on now for more than 10 years.
I am so lonely and I don´t want to live like this any longer.