In another thread I said I'd give life another try but honestly the more days pass,the more I think, the more I realize it's too late already. Very little to salvage. Barely anything to look forward to. Kinda regret not going through with it on the night I was in the woods. I got drunk and enjoyed dancing so much I told myself to give life another try. Now I remember why I hadn't danced in so long,how can I dance when things look so bleak.
Me confessing my CTB plans to my friend then him contacting my siblings-> getting sent to psych ward was the worst thing honestly, it made me more alienated than ever. I regret opening up my mouth back then,my situation would be better
Anyway a decade of crippling depression post traumatic events and abuse really did untold damages to my life. I'm so ridiculously behind, I'd give the world to be 21 again. CTB seems like the only path to be free of the shitty life that awaits me. My only reason not to do it is that my brother sent me 2.5k to pay for my previous semester...but as he makes twice that a week, he will recover from that.
Anyway the current state of things is really convincing me to ctb
Me confessing my CTB plans to my friend then him contacting my siblings-> getting sent to psych ward was the worst thing honestly, it made me more alienated than ever. I regret opening up my mouth back then,my situation would be better
Anyway a decade of crippling depression post traumatic events and abuse really did untold damages to my life. I'm so ridiculously behind, I'd give the world to be 21 again. CTB seems like the only path to be free of the shitty life that awaits me. My only reason not to do it is that my brother sent me 2.5k to pay for my previous semester...but as he makes twice that a week, he will recover from that.
Anyway the current state of things is really convincing me to ctb
