Hellokitty3333
Member
- Mar 15, 2023
- 9
I can not remember a time when I felt like a kid or that I was young. I have always been forced to act older, be mature and watch over other children even if they were older than me. When is it my turn to be taken care of? I have had friends who are sick their mom will let them sleep in their bed or cook them some food or even take time out of their day to help their sick child. Not my mother, I take care of her when she is sick but when I am sick it's "suck it up, you will be better by tomorrow". I just want a loving parent who wants to take care of me, is that too much to ask for? I'm 20 now so I am an adult who can take of myself right? I have always taken care of myself, kinda, I don't do a very good job and I forget to brush my teeth for months at a time. But I remember all the things that my sister needs to do for the day. I like taking care of people, it's the only way I feel needed, but I just wonder what it's like for someone to notice you are in a bad mood and do something nice for you. Or someone doing your chore because you are tired. Maybe one day I will find someone to take care of me but I am losing hope. I can not keep it up and be a responsible adult. I am so scared about being made to be an adult. I just want to do something considered selfish and die. I do not want to be alive and I never really have wanted to. I really wish I died when I was still a teenager so I wouldn't even be considered an adult legally at all. I definitely will commit before I am 21, I see no value in becoming another wasted adult who is stuck in the mindset of a child who never really learned anything.