15dec
ember in the dark
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,550
It's my birthday and the only good thing that's happened is getting enough money to order metoclopramide and tagamet. It's 6pm here and all I've eaten are a few sweets because there isn't any food in the house, which is sadly pretty common at this point. I'm going out with my grandparents and cousin for a meal soon which I was looking forward to, but my mum decided not to come in the middle of an argument and my dad might not be able to make it because of work. My sister was supposed to come after my mum invited her (despite her being the most problematic in our family and having abused me when I was little, she's my mum's favourite and she calls her a minimum of four times a day) but she probably won't either. And I don't know, it's kind of sad, I guess. I never seem to have good birthdays, the only ones I can remember have involved me being upset, people in my family arguing or being angry, and on one occasion my dad telling me if he crashed his car and died it'd be my fault. I was hoping to see my friends at some point as well but when I tried to make plans half of them ignored me and I don't see the point in going out if there's only going to be a couple of people other than myself. I guess I'm just not that important to anyone after all. I've never felt so alone and SS seems to be the only place I'm appreciated/important anymore.
