cubibibibism
an empty bliss beyond this world
- Oct 1, 2025
- 29
trans people commit suicide at an extremely disproportionate rate to cisgender people.
and i know why.
i've been in denial for years about being transgender, and that's caused me immense suffering. anxiety, depressing, social burnout, you name it. i've been self-harming since the age of 12. i hate looking in the mirror.
my binder that i've gotten recently doesn't help. my brother tells me i still look like a girl. he still laughs at me. my mother thinks my desire for HRT is impulsive when in reality i've been questioning my gender and feeling dysphoric for over 5 years.
i'm old enough to start HRT myself. i know. but i don't want to risk family judgement. it's a constant fucking battle. and so whenever i speak, whenever i look in the mirror, whenever my hair looks even slightly off, i just feel like death.
how can anyone live like this? i feel like it'd be easier to just CTB at this point.
as i type this, cuts lining my stomach and thighs are stinging. that's how i feel anything these days, as cliche as it sounds.
i'm so, so tired. i'm an atheist, but God, please. please just fucking take me already.
and i know why.
i've been in denial for years about being transgender, and that's caused me immense suffering. anxiety, depressing, social burnout, you name it. i've been self-harming since the age of 12. i hate looking in the mirror.
my binder that i've gotten recently doesn't help. my brother tells me i still look like a girl. he still laughs at me. my mother thinks my desire for HRT is impulsive when in reality i've been questioning my gender and feeling dysphoric for over 5 years.
i'm old enough to start HRT myself. i know. but i don't want to risk family judgement. it's a constant fucking battle. and so whenever i speak, whenever i look in the mirror, whenever my hair looks even slightly off, i just feel like death.
how can anyone live like this? i feel like it'd be easier to just CTB at this point.
as i type this, cuts lining my stomach and thighs are stinging. that's how i feel anything these days, as cliche as it sounds.
i'm so, so tired. i'm an atheist, but God, please. please just fucking take me already.
