--Dazai
Member
- Mar 7, 2023
- 6
it's just so fuckfing stressful and weird all the time to be put in a body YEARS younger than you, and they think i'll just accept it?? like srsly. and also bc more ppl are claiming to have DID/be a sys ( not fakeclaiming!! ), less and less ppl are taking it srsly and just end up fake claiming us. it just sucks. and im a jack of all trades, which means i have more than 1 lasting role. but I'm mainly a host and trauma holder. out of all the roles i couldve gotten it had to be that.. i never asked for this. i never asked to form in the first place. i never asked or agreed to be a part of this. sure, ive met a lot of nice ppl and most of our headmates are nice, but i feel like they just see me as a burden and some kind of scapegoat. when something bad happends, its "my fault."
"youve shouldve been there" "you shouldve fronted, its ur job" "you shouldnt have hurt the body like that, now we all have to deal with it" "you shouldve done this" "you need to do that" "you need to do-" and so on and so forth. im just tired. can they see that? so they see how unstable i am all the fucking time? do they see how I can't do simple tasks without falling apart? can they?
and other thing most of our headmates kinda like to do is tease me a little. I'm fine with it!! hell, i'll tease them back. but.. sometimes it feels like they arent joking. like they mean what they say. idk.. it just gets to me so badly.. -
"youve shouldve been there" "you shouldve fronted, its ur job" "you shouldnt have hurt the body like that, now we all have to deal with it" "you shouldve done this" "you need to do that" "you need to do-" and so on and so forth. im just tired. can they see that? so they see how unstable i am all the fucking time? do they see how I can't do simple tasks without falling apart? can they?
and other thing most of our headmates kinda like to do is tease me a little. I'm fine with it!! hell, i'll tease them back. but.. sometimes it feels like they arent joking. like they mean what they say. idk.. it just gets to me so badly.. -