Story I got SN months back. Then AE. Now it's time for me to buy the benzos

[ChildrensITV]

I am so glad I didn't give my SN to the police. There was no way I was letting that shit get taken away.

I got the AE soon after, all the time, waiting for life to show me SOME sign that it can be worthwhile. I was not asking for happiness. Just a reason to get out of bed. A meaningful job that I can carry out. Someone in my life who wants me around. Or just NOT to be a burden to myself and others. Something. Any reason! In fact, things just kept getting worse, as they always do.

I am now ready to buy the Benzos. I did not see 2023 coming in 2022. Like I knew my life was awful but I didn't know the escalation would be so harsh. I've always thought about suicide but was never this close to it. I have always thought: "I can't do it to family". With time, those feelings have grown weaker. I can't be around for others. They had me longer than I thought they would. I should have ended my life decades ago.

You know what's weird? There is literally ONE thing on earth that I like doing. Driving lessons. It sounds weird eh? I have not needed a car where I live so I didn't bother with driving lessons when younger (well I did, but then stopped). Driving is escapism to me. I look forward to every lesson, despite not having enough money to do them. I have to space the lessons out. I will run out of savings soon. I kinda want to get my licence before I kill myself. It makes no sense, I know. I guess I don't want to leave it as a loose end since I started it? Maybe I don't want to disappoint my driving instructor cuz he says I am doing well. One of the only things I have "done well" at for years.

I asked family to let me practice driving their car but they swatted me away with: "I drive automatic, it wouldn't help you".

I have parents who are old and get scam emails and stuff. They need my help. When I'm gone, they will be kinda fucked. Oh well. That's just how it goes. They see me as a burden except for when I am helping them out. They're going to find out real soon that I wasn't one. I am not vindictive though. I hope they live better without me. I hope they live a good life. Life was just not meant to be good for me.

If anyone knows where I can get benzos in the UK, please let me know.

 

[Unknown21]

I'm struggling for getting benzos.

 

[アホペンギン]

There are many online benzos sources but lots of them are scams. I am aware of a source that was mentioned in the PPH, though. If you want it, pm me. You could also go to the doctor and state you're having panic attacks and last time you were prescribed benzos it helped you a lot.

I'm sorry about the situation with your parents, it must suck being used in such a way, especially by your own parents who are the people who you expect to care for you. And the fact that you want to get your driver's license before you ctb does make sense, its good that you strive for something like that. You seem like you have a passion for driving which makes me glad for you. I'm sorry that you're running out of savings which prevents you from taking the lessons, you seem to enjoy them a lot based on how you wrote the section about driving. I'm also sorry that you aren't provided the privilege to practice with your family's car, you shouldn't rely on people like that, especially after they're horrible to you. Anyways, I wish you the best and i send you my best regards.

 

[ChildrensITV]

I'm struggling for getting benzos.

If you find a place that is not on the dark web, please let me know.

There are many online benzos sources but lots of them are scams. I am aware of a source that was mentioned in the PPH, though. If you want it, pm me. You could also go to the doctor and state you're having panic attacks and last time you were prescribed benzos it helped you a lot.

I'm sorry about the situation with your parents, it must suck being used in such a way, especially by your own parents who are the people who you expect to care for you. And the fact that you want to get your driver's license before you ctb does make sense, its good that you strive for something like that. You seem like you have a passion for driving which makes me glad for you. I'm sorry that you're running out of savings which prevents you from taking the lessons, you seem to enjoy them a lot based on how you wrote the section about driving. I'm also sorry that you aren't provided the privilege to practice with your family's car, you shouldn't rely on people like that, especially after they're horrible to you. Anyways, I wish you the best and i send you my best regards.

Thank you for taking the time and effort to write that comforting post. I know it takes an effort to write your OWN thread, let alone to reply to someone else. I have a driving lesson today, which is all I am looking forward to. It has made waking up somewhat worthwhile.

 

[Szinuus]

I know a reliable source that sends benzos and other meds but only along the UE countries.

 

[ChildrensITV]

And my driving lesson got cancelled cuz the car needs repairs. I'm just so tired of being tired of life.