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O

Originaldon

Student
Aug 27, 2020
139
So today I am at work in a fairly good mood going through my normal day. Looking forward to Friday night as it was my friends birthday and all the boys were going out.

I get a knock at my office door to be met by 2 police officers. They detained me in a police car under the mental health act. I have been brought to a psychiatric unit for assessment. I have been here for 4 hours and have been told it will be tomorrow so I have to stay the night.

This happened because my work colleague who I am close to found my suicide note draft. I am very close to him and he was only trying to do what was right. Unfortunately that was tell a director and HR who have then printed my letter and phoned the police. The letter was extremely well thought out and detailed and would appear that I was planning to CTB soon. Which in part is true but there is no active suicidality as such.

I will say the police and NHS staff have been brilliant
. I have been nothing but calm rational and even positive throughout. However I have just come to my room (cell) and it has hit me. The situation and how I am totally alone locked up in a unit.

The thing is I am very calm rational and coherent. I know I will be assessed and allowed to leave straight away. So this is all just a waste of time.

strangely locking me up alone , making me miss my big plans I'd been really looking forward to with my friends only makes me extremely sad and lonely.

Don't you just love life…
 
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blue_muse

blue_muse

Mage
Jan 31, 2021
553
You're handling it remarkably well because some in your shoes would go into panic mode. If you speak the same as you write then you'll be out in no time, besides there's SS to keep you company so keep the posts coming :happy:.
 
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L

LifeIsAChore11

Member
Dec 18, 2020
66
Don't take this as scolding or criticism, just some simple advice: Never write down anywhere or utter that you are suicidal. It will be used against you.
 
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O

Originaldon

Student
Aug 27, 2020
139
I appreciate that. In all honesty I have been this same attitude with everyone from the police to the NHS. It is not particularly even acting I really am not feeling that bad at the moment. They let me keep my shoe laces if that shows how calm and rational I was being. I was making personal and light heated conversation with both the police and NHS staff. If you saw me right now you'd be thinking what am I doing in here. I have never hurt myself, lost my head or done anything whatsoever to be put in here in this manner. Yes I wrote a note but that's about as far as it got.

Yes I feel very stupid for doing it at work and leaving it on the screen. I am very embarrassed as the note was incredibly detailed and planned.

it is so ironic that I was in a great mood today looking forward to the weekend for the first time in 5 months of severe depression. Now I am sat alone in a bare room in a shit bed staring at a wall missing out on plans I'd been buzzing for, and suddenly the depression and all the bad thoughts are back because it's killed my mood and left me locked up in a room which I have no free will to leave.

Even more ironically it's pushed me to SS for the first time today.

I do not blame anyone and understand everything that has led to this. The police , work and NHS have all been so nice to me about it all.
 
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Aboutblue

Aboutblue

Member
Aug 11, 2021
43
I'm sorry this happened. A few months ago I called a suicide hotline through my insurance and when I got home from the bridge (I couldn't even stop my car and get out so it was useless) the police were waiting for me. I was held for 72 hours. It really sucked but I got into an outpatient program at the same place I was held and everyone is really nice. I'm not sure it's helping, or maybe I'm not doing enough for it to help, but at least it is something to occupy my time for a bit.

Maybe they can offer you some legitimately helpful resources. Maybe not. Good luck.
 
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GreenMile

GreenMile

Member
Aug 3, 2021
95
Glad to hear they're being nice and that you are calm: emotion just feeds the Troll. Hopefully the glimmer at the end of the tunnel will reappear, probably when they and their 'help' disappear but would be great if they could offer some strategy to make you feel better.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,564
I'm sorry you are in this situation, it is one of the things I fear being sectioned, but you seem to be handling it really well. I wish you the best.
 
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O

Originaldon

Student
Aug 27, 2020
139
Thanks everyone it means a lot.
I have been lucky in that everyone has been good to me every step of the way and they've even let me have sleeping meds.
I do believe this is a very OTT panic reaction, I understand why but I also strongly believe I'll be assessed and released on anti depressants making the whole thing a waste of time and really a negative impact on my depression and mood.

The day I've been looking forward to and in a good mood is also the day I got sectioned and put down for no real reason other than someone saw a suicide note!
 
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3

316

Student
Aug 3, 2021
103
Sorry to hear that! Hopefully you will be out in no time! Honestly I'm surprised you are allowed your phone. not sure why it just surprises me
 
O

Originaldon

Student
Aug 27, 2020
139
Sorry to hear that! Hopefully you will be out in no time! Honestly I'm surprised you are allowed your phone. not sure why it just surprises me
They were a bit unsure but I managed to keep it. I was very calm polite and positive throughout the ordeal they have laxed on me a little bit tbh. I would've gone mad without my phone for company!
 
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L

L-L

-
Nov 14, 2019
128
Typical that it happens on a day things are looking up!

I hope things work out for the best - keep us updated.
They were a bit unsure but I managed to keep it. I was very calm polite and positive throughout the ordeal they have laxed on me a little bit tbh. I would've gone mad without my phone for company!
This site is the very last place I would let them see you browsing.
 
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3

316

Student
Aug 3, 2021
103
They were a bit unsure but I managed to keep it. I was very calm polite and positive throughout the ordeal they have laxed on me a little bit tbh. I would've gone mad without my phone for company!
Exactly that's what I was thinking! I would be calm with my phone, honestly it would be no different than being isolated at home lol. But without my phone it would feel like an eternity
 
O

Originaldon

Student
Aug 27, 2020
139
Exactly that's what I was thinking! I would be calm with my phone, honestly it would be no different than being isolated at home lol. But without my phone it would feel like an eternity
They were very unsure and saying it could cause distress , I just said that if I'm going to be spending time here alone then I'll need to talk to friends for company and support. Or I'm happy to stare at the wall thinking all the deep dark shit alone

I just came in and was very polite and courteous with them all through it so they've been sound with me .
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,990
If l didn't have my Dog to take care of l've have voluntarily had myself sectioned a long time ago, just to get away from human beings! I just can't stand being anywhere near them!
 
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Alec

Alec

Wizard
Apr 22, 2019
680
So today I am at work in a fairly good mood going through my normal day. Looking forward to Friday night as it was my friends birthday and all the boys were going out.

I get a knock at my office door to be met by 2 police officers. They detained me in a police car under the mental health act. I have been brought to a psychiatric unit for assessment. I have been here for 4 hours and have been told it will be tomorrow so I have to stay the night.

This happened because my work colleague who I am close to found my suicide note draft. I am very close to him and he was only trying to do what was right. Unfortunately that was tell a director and HR who have then printed my letter and phoned the police. The letter was extremely well thought out and detailed and would appear that I was planning to CTB soon. Which in part is true but there is no active suicidality as such.

I will say the police and NHS staff have been brilliant
. I have been nothing but calm rational and even positive throughout. However I have just come to my room (cell) and it has hit me. The situation and how I am totally alone locked up in a unit.

The thing is I am very calm rational and coherent. I know I will be assessed and allowed to leave straight away. So this is all just a waste of time.

strangely locking me up alone , making me miss my big plans I'd been really looking forward to with my friends only makes me extremely sad and lonely.

Don't you just love life…
You are handling it amazingly. I'm really sorry you are missing your plans with friends that you were looking forward too, it's fucking weird how this happened exactly the day you have plans you are looking forward to. I hope this gets sort out quickly and they will let you go, how locking you up alone is supposed to help you I don't think I will understand. I'm sending you strength and all the best, I'll be thinking about you and wish you the best luck!!!❤️❤️❤️
 
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O

Originaldon

Student
Aug 27, 2020
139
Update 24 hours since arrest. Still no assessment. No time. Just sat in a room on my own. Missed the plans I had for today as well now.

worst nightmare of a depressed severely ruminating person. Locked up alone sat in a room with nothing to do but think.

just to clarify I got arrested and sectioned while in a good mood and simply working, looking forward to my weekend plans with friends and loved ones.


I've done literally nothing other than write a suicide note several months ago. Never hurt myself or anyone else. The least suicidal I have been in 6 months.

All starting to creep back in now.
 
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Seiba

Seiba

Mage
Jun 13, 2021
505
Update 24 hours since arrest. Still no assessment. No time. Just sat in a room on my own. Missed the plans I had for today as well now.

worst nightmare of a depressed severely ruminating person. Locked up alone sat in a room with nothing to do but think.

just to clarify I got arrested and sectioned while in a good mood and simply working, looking forward to my weekend plans with friends and loved ones.


I've done literally nothing other than write a suicide note several months ago. Never hurt myself or anyone else. The least suicidal I have been in 6 months.

All starting to creep back in now.
They're allowing a phone in the hospital?
 
O

Originaldon

Student
Aug 27, 2020
139
They're allowing a phone in the hospital?
Yes. I've been very calm and polite and relaxed the whole time. Not even an act like I am just not in a particularly bad mental place right now. Really the worst thing they could have done would be to isolate me from loved ones. They let me keep my shoe laces and allow me outside unsupervised for a vape break (they took my fags). I'm literally like fine. Model patient not a sign of any mental problems. I've been calm polite and chatty with everyone.
It is a psych unit rather than a hospital.

really this is not the place for someone like me. I have done nothing more than write a suicide note several months ago which was seen. I have never tried to hurt myself or anyone else.
 
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H

HopelessFight

Warlock
Jan 31, 2021
740
If I understand correctly, at least you'll get an assessment today and will likely leave that place soon. You seem to take it very well, despite the circumstances.

I have done something similar a few years ago and ended up being locked up for a week before I had to appear to a judge. No assesment was done at all.
 
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I

I want to end it

Arcanist
Apr 29, 2018
475
Not meaning to be horrible but why leave a suicide note where other people could find it?
 
OnlyTheWind

OnlyTheWind

Serena / Meatball head
Aug 29, 2020
962
Hope you're out soon! Keep them in the dark as much as you can, you don't want to be "saved" at the least desirable moment.
 
IWantToGoFast

IWantToGoFast

Member
Aug 2, 2021
59
I have been there as well. Best is to keep calm whatever happens:
1. You can follow this path and get help, when your consultant psychiatrist will meet you tell him about your problems and that you want to be admitted. It's going to be a long road I shit you not. I've seen people recover. My personal case I followed this path but I didn't.
2. Now depending on the note and the assessment by your consultant psychiatrist you might get a section. You can appeal it so keep calm even if you get one. If you want to get out quick be careful what you say to that consultant, don't tell him you're all fine and dandy and life could never be more perfect because you're going to set alarm bells. Do not lie very much, and if you have to do it be convincing.

PS: To your caring friend, don't smash his nose in lol :))))))))))! The reporting culture is in full bloom nowadays and his convinced he did good. And now he is awaiting his "good boy, Charlie. Now sit. Here's your threat". To me it's called snitching! He could have come personally to you and said: look inadvertently I saw your letter. I'm here for you. I'm very worried about you, because those things are quite explicit. Assure me you're going to be alright please, I need to know this. And then depending on your answer follow this course of action that you're in now or just "forget about it" as the NY folk say.
 
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O

Originaldon

Student
Aug 27, 2020
139
Not meaning to be horrible but why leave a suicide note where other people could find it?
I was very stupid and left it on the screen at work as I left my desk. Yes it was very stupid of me and caused this whole drama.

I have now been let go. 26 hours and a 5 minute chat and they released me immediately. I really am not in the same place I was when that note was initially written several months ago. Yes the ideation is there but it is not a burning active impulse anymore. Quite frankly the whole thing was unnecessary and if any of you had me in there you would have been thinking why am I in there. I have just lost a weekend and a lot of much anticipated plans due to this. They took that rare happiness away for really no reason.
 
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DisillusionedDragon

DisillusionedDragon

Pessimist/Antinatalist
Nov 25, 2020
172
I'm sorry, that sucks so much. Can you take one or two days off work? That way you could at least have some of the free time they took back and try to relax and get into the 'before mood' again. And I'm sure you'll find another weekend to do what you planned to and I think your happiness will make a reappearance soon.
Hugs,
DD
 
S

Sebuet

Member
Jul 9, 2021
88
Get out as soon as possible, mental heat institutions are a cruel joke
 
clown_17

clown_17

Almost gone, it almost worked
Oct 24, 2020
288
I'm glad you got out! Hope the whole thing wasn't too bad
 
Seiba

Seiba

Mage
Jun 13, 2021
505
Yes. I've been very calm and polite and relaxed the whole time. Not even an act like I am just not in a particularly bad mental place right now. Really the worst thing they could have done would be to isolate me from loved ones. They let me keep my shoe laces and allow me outside unsupervised for a vape break (they took my fags). I'm literally like fine. Model patient not a sign of any mental problems. I've been calm polite and chatty with everyone.
It is a psych unit rather than a hospital.

really this is not the place for someone like me. I have done nothing more than write a suicide note several months ago which was seen. I have never tried to hurt myself or anyone else.
Sorry to hear that, at least you got out today. A shame the loss of freedom can happen so easily for something trivial.
 
O

Originaldon

Student
Aug 27, 2020
139
So update a day later after the dust settled and I have slept in my own bed again.

Pretty much bad news. The trauma and experience has completely knocked me back mentally.

The anger , anxiety and rumination that had recently subsided has completely returned just with added trauma to what has been brought back up.

I did not sleep at all last night , my head is racing and I very much feel mentally the way I did several months ago at almost rock bottom.

there is a lot too it which probably would be too write or even try to explain. Really it has been another traumatic event to add to what had already triggered my depression earlier in the year. It has rebrought up that, I am worried about work and having to go back in and talk to them all. I cannot stop ruminating which was the main reason that drove me to suicidal ideation originally.

All in all I'm pretty fucked again now mentally and I don't know what to do about it….

Oh and just for clarification. When you are sectioned in the UK you are taken to a "safe space" (looney bin). You have to then wait for analysis by a medical doctor , Social worker and psychiatrist. In my situation it was only the doctor and psychiatrist who came to assess me mentally after waiting 26 hours. The psychiatrist said barely a word. The doctor who was rude arrogant and just a general dickhead who would interrupt me when answering his questions. He simply banged on about medication for 10 minutes told me I was free to go and to go see a GP. All of that to be told I should try medication and go to my doctor. And for the record at the time of my sectioning I really was almost beyond the need for it.

The whole thing is incredibly ironic and has only knocked me mentally and not helped. The other very ironic thing is I was put in there as it was believed I was imminently going to CTB. They released me and I was home by 1800. All it really would have achieved would have been to stop me doing it Friday night. If I had been imminently planning to do it the whole experience would have been the final push.

again it's me who gets shit on.
 
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IWantToGoFast

IWantToGoFast

Member
Aug 2, 2021
59
So update a day later after the dust settled and I have slept in my own bed again.

Pretty much bad news. The trauma and experience has completely knocked me back mentally.

The anger , anxiety and rumination that had recently subsided has completely returned just with added trauma to what has been brought back up.

I did not sleep at all last night , my head is racing and I very much feel mentally the way I did several months ago at almost rock bottom.

there is a lot too it which probably would be too write or even try to explain. Really it has been another traumatic event to add to what had already triggered my depression earlier in the year. It has rebrought up that, I am worried about work and having to go back in and talk to them all. I cannot stop ruminating which was the main reason that drove me to suicidal ideation originally.

All in all I'm pretty fucked again now mentally and I don't know what to do about it….

Oh and just for clarification. When you are sectioned in the UK you are taken to a "safe space" (looney bin). You have to then wait for analysis by a medical doctor , Social worker and psychiatrist. In my situation it was only the doctor and psychiatrist who came to assess me mentally after waiting 26 hours. The psychiatrist said barely a word. The doctor who was rude arrogant and just a general dickhead who would interrupt me when answering his questions. He simply banged on about medication for 10 minutes told me I was free to go and to go see a GP. All of that to be told I should try medication and go to my doctor. And for the record at the time of my sectioning I really was almost beyond the need for it.

The whole thing is incredibly ironic and has only knocked me mentally and not helped. The other very ironic thing is I was put in there as it was believed I was imminently going to CTB. They released me and I was home by 1800. All it really would have achieved would have been to stop me doing it Friday night. If I had been imminently planning to do it the whole experience would have been the final push.

again it's me who gets shit on.
I hope you'll find it in yourself to leave this event behind you. This sectioning business needs to be re-thinked because I haven't seen it helping anyone. As to going back to work I was lucky because under your privacy rights the doctor can leave out your diagnosis, if you need to send a letter to your employer. But in your case that is futile because you had a goody two shoes colleague that wanted to play hero.
I can relate to this story. Mine was a little bit different, in the sense that I went to my GP, then referred to a psychiatrist and then when the psychiatrist heard my story she sectioned me for a lovely 28 days, with 2 nights spent in the looney bin. One suicide attempt during my consultant psychiatrist meeting added another 28 days. Ha such is life an endless stream of roses that smell like shit, with thorns of poison and leaves of misery.
On a positive note I'm glad you're out. In my country people say that any miracle only lasts 3 days. So going back to work will be hard for like 3 days. After that it's back to business as normal, because in the end nobody cares.
 
Alwaysbadtime

Alwaysbadtime

Enlightened
Jun 28, 2021
1,158
Will your job be understanding and not fire you etc?
 

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