Venting i got raped a bar and my boyfriend called me a cheater

[judaspiss]

yeah so i went to a bar alone and my boyfriend's ex-fiance sent this guy to rape me. he bought me a shot and i was already drunk. i shouldn't have been there in the first place but i ended up in the bathroom then back at the bar in a second. i told him to stop and he did but it was a fucking flash. i slept in my car too drunk to drive and i already have a dui. my boyfriend lyfted to my location and drove me home. i told him what happened and he kicked me out of our apartment. i got baker acted because i cut myself for the first time and i was actually about to stab myself in the neck but i wanted to be comforted instead. now i live with my parents and i have nothing left.

 

[MusicGuy]

I'm very sorry for what happened to you, some people really act like shit. If you need someone to talk, PM me if you want

 

[judaspiss]

I'm very sorry for what happened to you, some people really act like shit. If you need someone to talk, PM me if you want

i cant care about being raped anymore i've been raped 3 times in one night. im upset im called a cheater and lost my home over this.

 

[ger3172]

omg im so sorry. im sorry u had to banalize sexul abuse, and im sorry u didnt have the support from ur boyfriend, quite the opposite. he probably lacks a lot on empathy unfortunately, maybe its for the better staying away from him

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so horrible how humans create so much suffering, it's such a hellish world we exist in where such things even happen.

 

[AerialBoundaries]

Absolute scumbag.

 

[Water-Lily]

Your "bf" (who should be an ex) and that bitch ex fiancée are so trash. I am so terribly sorry for the trauma you endured

It's understandable in these moments to carry shame and blame ourselves over what we "should" have done. But nothing excuses what that piece of shit rapist did. People like him use any opportunity they see to get their way. They're predators. To the fact that you were already drunk a good person would have tried to help you. But he used it for his own sick depravity

I can only hope that your parents are a safe space. I hope it's not a situation where you're going back to another abusive situation (as is the case for some of us)

Do you have access to any mental health treatment? This is the time now to take care of yourself

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Why are you on SS instead of being at the police, surely you would go to the police and not to a "bf" to report if someone really "raped" you and what's the logic of coming here to talk about this instead of reporting that perpetrator ?

If someone was to do that to me I would be going to the police not to some "bf" to report the case. What can a mere "bf" do if you have been "raped" as you claim and also what can a suicide forum do to help you. Go to the police and they will put the mf behind bars it's so easy.

 

[Water-Lily]

Why are you on SS instead of being at the police, surely you would go to the police and not to a bf to report if someone really "raped" you and what's the logic of coming here to talk about this instead of reporting that perpetrator ?

First of all, many victims of abuse don't feel safe going to the police. Many people either get judged or re traumatized. So don't blame her for choosing to talk to us when she's hurting. She's in trauma and doesn't need anyone judging her choices

And the way you have rape in quotation makes comes off as if you're victim blaming and choosing to shame her

If you're not going to be supportive don't come on here and talk down to her. You could have kept this opinion to yourself

Also do you know how many rapists actually get put in prison? How many rape kits don't get investigated? In most cases, the rapist gets to walk free. The odds are not in most victims favor. It's a system that doesn't create justice for victims and in most cases hurt them more

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

First of all, many victims of abuse don't feel safe going to the police. Many people either get judged or re traumatized. So don't blame her for choosing to talk to us when she's hurting. She's in trauma and doesn't need anyone judging her choices

And the way you have rape in quotation makes comes off as if you're victim blaming and choosing to shame her

If you're not going to be supportive don't come on here and talk down to her. You could have kept this opinion to yourself

I'm not victim blaming but there is a time and place for everything.

She can easily go to her family or friends or even call those victim support lines as they will be able to help without victim blaming. I put that in quotes because I believe it's a troll post.

I'm not talking down on her but the thing is there is some true victims of rape out there and this is not something you can joke and mess about.

OP I hope you follow my advice and I wish you well and proper healing from this ( if what you are saying is true)

PS - I know the police can be incompetent sometimes but they will not judge especially if it's rape as they can get evidence from her easily and the guy will be behind bars in no time.

 

[Water-Lily]

I'm not victim blaming but there is a time and place for everything.

She can easily go to her family or friends or even call those victim support lines as they will be able to help without victim blaming me. I put that in quotes because I believe it's a troll post.

I'm not talking down on her but the thing is there is some true victims of rape out there and this is not something you can joke and mess about.

OP I hope you follow my advice and I wish you well and proper healing from this ( if what you are saying is true)

The fact that you're accusing her of being a troll and accusing her validity is why so many people choose not to come forward

If you genuinely believed this was a troll then why bother commenting at all?

And you assume that everyone has family and friends they can talk to? Not everyone has a support system. It's why online spaces are most peoples go to

OP, I am so sorry someone felt it was right to invalidate your experience when you're hurting

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

The fact that you're accusing her of being a troll and accusing her validity is why so many people choose not to come forward

If you genuinely believed this was a troll then why bother commenting at all?

And you assume that everyone has family and friends they can talk to? Not everyone has a support system. It's why online spaces are most peoples go to

OP, I am so sorry someone felt it was right to invalidate your experience when you're hurting

Suicide forum is the last place someone would come to if they are being raped, there is so many resources online and not only that I read her story and it doesn't even make sense.

OP go and look for numbers for victim's support to report you being raped and they will be able to help you.

 

[Water-Lily]

Suicide forum is the last place someone would come to if they are being raped, there is so many resources online and not only that I read her story and it doesn't even make sense.

OP go and look for numbers for victim's support to report you being raped and they will be able to help you.

What part doesn't make sense?

 

[unrest]

Suicide forum is the last place someone would come to if they are being raped, there is so many resources online and not only that I read her story and it doesn't even make sense.

OP go and look for numbers for victim's support to report you being raped and they will be able to help you.

tbh op doesn't really need to owe you an explanation if them getting raped was legit or not. just because they come into an online forum to vent about it, doesnt make it any less valid. obviously they dont have any support from someone that they thought cared about them. we dont really know how their family life is like at home. people will immediately report it to authorities, and some people will keep it hidden because they feel way too much shame to even admit that they allowed something like that to happen to them.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

tbh op doesn't really need to owe you an explanation if them getting raped was legit or not. just because they come into an online forum to vent about it, doesnt make it any less valid. obviously they dont have any support from someone that they thought cared about them. we dont really know how their family life is like at home. people will immediately report it to authorities, and some people will keep it hidden because they feel way too much shame to even admit that they allowed something like that to happen to them.

You sound angry….. are you okay ? Oh I see you are new to this site, that makes sense .

I voiced my opinion here and I even offered OP the advise… I'm allowed to comment what I think and also I wasn't talking to you.

 

[unrest]

You sound angry….. are you okay ? Oh I see you are new to this site, that makes sense .

I voiced my opinion here and I even offered OP the advise… I'm allowed to comment what I think and also I wasn't talking to you.

how can i sound angry? me being new doesn't really prove anything. i'm also allowed to comment and give my opinion so ig it's fair game. your response says a lot in itself, but i hope you can find some empathy. have a nice day.

 

[Readytogo246]

Oh my horror! This sounds terrible. So sorry this happened to you. It is not your fault.

 

[Twistedliesinside]

I couldn't care less for the PC bullshit around sensitive topics like rape. Just like suicide, anyone that's dealing with rape surely wants to be able to speak without the meaningless sensibilities expressed by the majority in life.

I empathise very much though, thinking back about 11 years ago, my first long-term relationship ended due to being raped. I believed and accepted it was my fault, even though it wasn't. I would have understood the situation if someone else went through it, but when it came to myself, I only wished I could have done better in avoiding or escaping the situation. I couldn't accept being a victim, so I choose not to think of it that way, but the damage was done and I couldn't internalise what happened.

i cant care about being raped anymore i've been raped 3 times in one night. im upset im called a cheater and lost my home over this.

I understand and feel this though, a very real response, numbed to the entire experience. I think the part that hurts the most for me 11 years after my experience is just being called a cheater and broken up with over that. Even though it's almost irrelevant now, only as relevant as the control the memories hold over me.

 

[judaspiss]

Your "bf" (who should be an ex) and that bitch ex fiancée are so trash. I am so terribly sorry for the trauma you endured

It's understandable in these moments to carry shame and blame ourselves over what we "should" have done. But nothing excuses what that piece of shit rapist did. People like him use any opportunity they see to get their way. They're predators. To the fact that you were already drunk a good person would have tried to help you. But he used it for his own sick depravity

I can only hope that your parents are a safe space. I hope it's not a situation where you're going back to another abusive situation (as is the case for some of us)

Do you have access to any mental health treatment? This is the time now to take care of yourself

unfortunately my parents are worse. my boyfriend is extremely generous and sweet he's just retarded thinking i would cheat on him especially after all he's done for me.

Why are you on SS instead of being at the police, surely you would go to the police and not to a "bf" to report if someone really "raped" you and what's the logic of coming here to talk about this instead of reporting that perpetrator ?

If someone was to do that to me I would be going to the police not to some "bf" to report the case. What can a mere "bf" do if you have been "raped" as you claim and also what can a suicide forum do to help you. Go to the police and they will put the mf behind bars it's so easy.

i dont care about the rape i care about losing my house.

I'm not victim blaming but there is a time and place for everything.

She can easily go to her family or friends or even call those victim support lines as they will be able to help without victim blaming. I put that in quotes because I believe it's a troll post.

I'm not talking down on her but the thing is there is some true victims of rape out there and this is not something you can joke and mess about.

OP I hope you follow my advice and I wish you well and proper healing from this ( if what you are saying is true)

PS - I know the police can be incompetent sometimes but they will not judge especially if it's rape as they can get evidence from her easily and the guy will be behind bars in no time.

i'm disliked by jupiter police.

The fact that you're accusing her of being a troll and accusing her validity is why so many people choose not to come forward

If you genuinely believed this was a troll then why bother commenting at all?

And you assume that everyone has family and friends they can talk to? Not everyone has a support system. It's why online spaces are most peoples go to

OP, I am so sorry someone felt it was right to invalidate your experience when you're hurting

i appreciate you water-lily :)

I couldn't care less for the PC bullshit around sensitive topics like rape. Just like suicide, anyone that's dealing with rape surely wants to be able to speak without the meaningless sensibilities expressed by the majority in life.

I empathise very much though, thinking back about 11 years ago, my first long-term relationship ended due to being raped. I believed and accepted it was my fault, even though it wasn't. I would have understood the situation if someone else went through it, but when it came to myself, I only wished I could have done better in avoiding or escaping the situation. I couldn't accept being a victim, so I choose not to think of it that way, but the damage was done and I couldn't internalise what happened.

I understand and feel this though, a very real response, numbed to the entire experience. I think the part that hurts the most for me 11 years after my experience is just being called a cheater and broken up with over that. Even though it's almost irrelevant now, only as relevant as the control the memories hold over me.

im glad im not the only one who has felt this way. i hope you're in a better place now. :) <3

 

[Aisley]

You sound angry….. are you okay ? Oh I see you are new to this site, that makes sense .

I voiced my opinion here and I even offered OP the advise… I'm allowed to comment what I think and also I wasn't talking to you.

new to the site? They joined like six days after you. Just take the lesson and think before you reply. This isn't like other forums. Everyone here is in pain, and wants to die. On that level playing field we all hesitate to be outright dicks to each other. Just move forward in a gentler manner, please.
if you were raped, it's very likely cops wouldn't be the first or even the tenth thing on your mind, for a goddamn plethora of reasons. The majority of rapes go unreported, for some perfectly valid reasons of which you have no concept. And I hope you never will. I mean that, I'm not shit-talking or high-roading.

I couldn't care less for the PC bullshit around sensitive topics like rape. Just like suicide, anyone that's dealing with rape surely wants to be able to speak without the meaningless sensibilities expressed by the majority in life.

I empathise very much though, thinking back about 11 years ago, my first long-term relationship ended due to being raped. I believed and accepted it was my fault, even though it wasn't. I would have understood the situation if someone else went through it, but when it came to myself, I only wished I could have done better in avoiding or escaping the situation. I couldn't accept being a victim, so I choose not to think of it that way, but the damage was done and I couldn't internalise what happened.

That's a fuck of a thing, isn't it? I've never blamed anyone for being raped, but for what happened to me? I'll hold myself accountable to the day I die. So fucking stupid to not see it coming. Maybe because we look back for clues and moments where it could have been avoided, and those moments just get magnified. ...idk...

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

new to the site? They joined like six days after you. Just take the lesson and think before you reply. This isn't like other forums. Everyone here is in pain, and wants to die. On that level playing field we all hesitate to be outright dicks to each other. Just move forward in a gentler manner, please.
if you were raped, it's very likely cops wouldn't be the first or even the tenth thing on your mind, for a goddamn plethora of reasons. The majority of rapes go unreported, for some perfectly valid reasons of which you have no concept. And I hope you never will. I mean that, I'm not shit-talking or high-roading.

Okay okay let me explain a bit more here I found out like two months ago a "friend" lied to me about being raped because she thought I would say the same thing because there is a guy who is running around telling everyone connected to me that I accused him of rape which I didn't and I have told him countless times and he still won't stop tarnishing my name because of this. So when this "friend" told me I felt sorry for her and I even wanted to help her to go to the police to report the incident and she told me they won't believe her and that she had reported the issue to the police and they still didn't believe her.

I even called the guy that I was seeing at the time saying I was worried about her and she had been lying to me. Like who does that ?? when I found out why she lied, I was enraged like you don't lie about things like that, it is a disgrace and disgusting for someone to lie about that .

Also the reason why I don't believe OP is because she said she was raped 3 times and the story doesn't even makes sense and it's all over the place and that's why I called this a troll post.

Sorry this is a trigger for me as I'm being falsely accused of saying something I didn't say. Just thinking about this get me riled up, it's crazy how low and far can some people go inorder to destroy someone's life, truly disgraceful.

 

[Aisley]

I get it. But no one is here for shits and giggles. It's a suicide forum. Just move forward in a gentler manner is all. Gang rapes are a real thing, and they happen all the time.

Okay okay let me explain a bit more here I found out like two months ago a "friend" lied to me about being raped because she thought I would say the same thing because there is a guy who is running around telling everyone connected to me that I accused him of rape which I didn't and I have told him countless times and he still won't stop tarnishing my name because of this. So when this "friend" told me I felt sorry for her and I even wanted to help her to go to the police to report the incident and she told me they won't believe her and that she had reported the issue to the police and they still didn't believe her.

I even called the guy that I was seeing at the time saying I was worried about her and she had been lying to me. Like who does that ?? when I found out why she lied, I was enraged like you don't lie about things like that, it is a disgrace and disgusting for someone to lie about that .

Also the reason why I don't believe OP is because she said she was raped 3 times and the story doesn't even makes sense and it's all over the place and that's why I called this a troll post.

 

[Water-Lily]

unfortunately my parents are worse. my boyfriend is extremely generous and sweet he's just retarded thinking i would cheat on him especially after all he's done for me.

i dont care about the rape i care about losing my house.

i'm disliked by jupiter police.

i appreciate you water-lily :)

im glad im not the only one who has felt this way. i hope you're in a better place now. :) <3

I'm sorry to hear your parents are worse :(. It doesn't provide you the space to heal from such a traumatic event.

And even if your bf is just being "retarded" it doesn't change the fact that he's being toxic/abusive to you in a situation where you need love and empathy. I'm so sorry he's failing you as your bf

I hope you consider reaching out for professional support. There are many hotlines that offer counseling and a listening ear if need be

 

[Huntfish34]

Good girl. - lol.... If at Anytime you would wish to shut the fuck up and have a heart.... That would be awesome, please stop shaming people when they Clearly do Not deserve it. Show Some dignity at Least, * not saying a Lot, buy Some dignity and remorse would be appreciated on this site * Just sayin. -

 

[Obliviate]

OMG I'm sorry you went through this. So many males are predators you have to look out for. Your boyfriend is a disgusting piece of shit for having that type of ideology. He is not "sweet" or "generous". He is mentally abusive. Do not be delusional. You SHOULD care about the rape. It's physical assault and inhumane. Please protect yourself by carrying some type of weapon to defend youself from males. Dont be afraid to fight and hurt them. Sending you good vibes

 

[judaspiss]

Okay okay let me explain a bit more here I found out like two months ago a "friend" lied to me about being raped because she thought I would say the same thing because there is a guy who is running around telling everyone connected to me that I accused him of rape which I didn't and I have told him countless times and he still won't stop tarnishing my name because of this. So when this "friend" told me I felt sorry for her and I even wanted to help her to go to the police to report the incident and she told me they won't believe her and that she had reported the issue to the police and they still didn't believe her.

I even called the guy that I was seeing at the time saying I was worried about her and she had been lying to me. Like who does that ?? when I found out why she lied, I was enraged like you don't lie about things like that, it is a disgrace and disgusting for someone to lie about that .

Also the reason why I don't believe OP is because she said she was raped 3 times and the story doesn't even makes sense and it's all over the place and that's why I called this a troll post.

Sorry this is a trigger for me as I'm being falsely accused of saying something I didn't say. Just thinking about this get me riled up, it's crazy how low and far can some people go inorder to destroy someone's life, truly disgraceful.

i was raped three times in one night, an entirely separate night months ago. the story is all over the place because i was dragged all over the place. and i was wasted.

OMG I'm sorry you went through this. So many males are predators you have to look out for. Your boyfriend is a disgusting piece of shit for having that type of ideology. He is not "sweet" or "generous". He is mentally abusive. Do not be delusional. You SHOULD care about the rape. It's physical assault and inhumane. Please protect yourself by carrying some type of weapon to defend youself from males. Dont be afraid to fight and hurt them. Sending you good vibes

i usually do but i found this bar to be a safe space because this woman is banned and i have been to this bar many times prior. i'm friends with the owners and every bartender. unfortunately, i shouldn't have let my guard down. i need to still be in good graces with this guy because i have community service in that county and i am currently living 3 hours north of that county so i need to stay back in that apartment to get all this DUI shit over and done with so maybe i'm coming up with excuses for him.

 

[unsaiddes]

Nobody on the face of this earth deserves that, saying I'm so sorry that you've had to experience this amount of sexual violence in your life would be an understatement. We hear you and we support you, it might not mean much but I'm sending you my warmest thoughts.

 

[meowmeowkitty]

not sure why you're still referring to him as your boyfriend, also not sure why'd you would want to continue living with this man after knowing what he said and done to you... maybe the only good to come out of this was that he kicked you out, as bad as that sounds; he doesn't sound like anyone you need to be with, let alone someone who cares about you or is willing to protect you. you get raped and the first thing he does is kick you out? you need to think about that.. either way, wish you the best of luck moving forward.

 

[Twistedliesinside]

Okay okay let me explain a bit more here I found out like two months ago a "friend" lied to me about being raped because she thought I would say the same thing because there is a guy who is running around telling everyone connected to me that I accused him of rape which I didn't and I have told him countless times and he still won't stop tarnishing my name because of this. So when this "friend" told me I felt sorry for her and I even wanted to help her to go to the police to report the incident and she told me they won't believe her and that she had reported the issue to the police and they still didn't believe her.

I even called the guy that I was seeing at the time saying I was worried about her and she had been lying to me. Like who does that ?? when I found out why she lied, I was enraged like you don't lie about things like that, it is a disgrace and disgusting for someone to lie about that .

Also the reason why I don't believe OP is because she said she was raped 3 times and the story doesn't even makes sense and it's all over the place and that's why I called this a troll post.

Sorry this is a trigger for me as I'm being falsely accused of saying something I didn't say. Just thinking about this get me riled up, it's crazy how low and far can some people go inorder to destroy someone's life, truly disgraceful.

Sorry to detract from the true purpose of this thread. This kind of person just really pisses me off, I wasn't going to say anything but she continues to excuse and back-up her behaviour.

Your reasoning is flawed Goodgirlryeo101. Stop comparing your unrelated personal experiences and applying them to other's situations. You seem to lack any ability to perceive whether someone is telling a lie.

You don't get to seek out a topic that you think somebody is lying about and then say it's your trigger. Do you expect to be the only person that has a trigger surrounding an issue like this? You're being reckless, immature and incredibly self-centered. Is it really so hurtful to you that you think this person might be lying? You're either the troll or you're just stupid.

I'm certain this is nothing but truthful and I could give plenty of reasons why. Real incidents don't require excessive details, they aren't trying to convince anybody. Details are often rushed or memories incomplete due to the nature of the trauma and/or the state of mind at the time. Also just the fact that I understand how someone must feel to not even prioritise themselves to care about what happened, they could be numb to the event as a defence mechanism, sometimes even repressing most or all of the event. The aftermath of what's happened is usually harder to deal with, the emotions of the consequences haven't been blocked out like the memories that are painful to remember.

I think you should show some remorse and respect by not replying on this thread again.

 

[judaspiss]

Sorry to detract from the true purpose of this thread. This kind of person just really pisses me off, I wasn't going to say anything but she continues to excuse and back-up her behaviour.

Your reasoning is flawed Goodgirlryeo101. Stop comparing your unrelated personal experiences and applying them to other's situations. You seem to lack any ability to perceive whether someone is telling a lie.

You don't get to seek out a topic that you think somebody is lying about and then say it's your trigger. Do you expect to be the only person that has a trigger surrounding an issue like this? You're being reckless, immature and incredibly self-centered. Is it really so hurtful to you that you think this person might be lying? You're either the troll or you're just stupid.

I'm certain this is nothing but truthful and I could give plenty of reasons why. Real incidents don't require excessive details, they aren't trying to convince anybody. Details are often rushed or memories incomplete due to the nature of the trauma and/or the state of mind at the time. Also just the fact that I understand how someone must feel to not even prioritise themselves to care about what happened, they could be numb to the event as a defence mechanism, sometimes even repressing most or all of the event. The aftermath of what's happened is usually harder to deal with, the emotions of the consequences haven't been blocked out like the memories that are painful to remember.

I think you should show some remorse and respect by not replying on this thread again.

i appreciate your i suppose "defence" of me. you are right, maybe i am just coping in the "i don't care" kind of way.