Probably going to regret posting this and I've only just made an account since I want to be able to get an SN resource on here, been lurking for a while now.
Every few weeks I will get a glimmer of hope and honestly believe in my mind I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, however a few days later I deteriorate even worse than before.
I truly hate my situation. I feel like I have been blessed in so many areas in life but my genetic health condition / deformity causes everything to be tainted and ruined. If it were not for this my life would be perfect. Every few weeks I come down with extreme physical pain aswell as changes with how my body looks causing mental pain aswell.
I have already had surgery for my condition but 2 years of trauma and 3 surgeries later my condition is worse thanks to it partially failing. I have a consultation in 2 weeks and if I'm not able to get approval for another surgery I think this will be the last straw. Although, even if I do this is another 2 years of trauma dealing with the surgery aftermath. I feel like this is a lose-lose situation.
I know that my life could be amazing if it were not for this one condition and that thought is making me not want to die right now. However, it will never get better, not really. I have already tried for it to get better with my previous surgery which failed.
I don't know what to do anymore, I am suffering. I just want to get SN resource that I can't find myself. I know I will hurt so many people but they know my pain, physical and mental. They know it is the kindest thing that can happen to me, and hence them in return.
Sorry for rant.
Every few weeks I will get a glimmer of hope and honestly believe in my mind I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, however a few days later I deteriorate even worse than before.
I truly hate my situation. I feel like I have been blessed in so many areas in life but my genetic health condition / deformity causes everything to be tainted and ruined. If it were not for this my life would be perfect. Every few weeks I come down with extreme physical pain aswell as changes with how my body looks causing mental pain aswell.
I have already had surgery for my condition but 2 years of trauma and 3 surgeries later my condition is worse thanks to it partially failing. I have a consultation in 2 weeks and if I'm not able to get approval for another surgery I think this will be the last straw. Although, even if I do this is another 2 years of trauma dealing with the surgery aftermath. I feel like this is a lose-lose situation.
I know that my life could be amazing if it were not for this one condition and that thought is making me not want to die right now. However, it will never get better, not really. I have already tried for it to get better with my previous surgery which failed.
I don't know what to do anymore, I am suffering. I just want to get SN resource that I can't find myself. I know I will hurt so many people but they know my pain, physical and mental. They know it is the kindest thing that can happen to me, and hence them in return.
Sorry for rant.
