Venting I FUCKING HATE MYSELF

[highjumping]

I'll probably be ending my life soon since I am nothing but a disappointment to the people I care about.
I thought this would hurt more but I don't actually care.
I am angry at myself, I'm never enough and my attempts at recovery aren't seen, I'm so fucking tired of this.
I am trying for so many people but it doesn't matter to them and I hope that once I am dead they will see how fucking miserable I was and that I can't always do anything by myself.
I feel pathetic for writing this, for feeling like this because I know everyone is so disappointed but fuck you.
Just fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Fuck everyone for not being here, I hope you regret it when I am gone.
I am so fucking angry, I could split my skull open.
I've been thinking about some methods I would like to use, preferably I'd like to shoot myself in the head but I cannot aquire a firearm in this country.
So I'll probably jump or throw myself in front of a train, I guess I just want something violent like a very last scream for help even tho it's way too late.
Recommend me something.
I already regret writing all of this.

 

[mob]

Unfortunately, I myself don't have any recommendations for you. However, I'm sorry no one sees/saw your attempts at recovery - I understand you and I understand why you feel this way. There's no need for regret when you let your thoughts and emotions out - I'm sending you a virtual hug.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be torturous suffering like that but anyway best wishes, I hope you eventually find what you search for.

 

[peelingbananas]

I'll probably be ending my life soon since I am nothing but a disappointment to the people I care about.
I thought this would hurt more but I don't actually care.
I am angry at myself, I'm never enough and my attempts at recovery aren't seen, I'm so fucking tired of this.
I am trying for so many people but it doesn't matter to them and I hope that once I am dead they will see how fucking miserable I was and that I can't always do anything by myself.
I feel pathetic for writing this, for feeling like this because I know everyone is so disappointed but fuck you.
Just fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Fuck everyone for not being here, I hope you regret it when I am gone.
I am so fucking angry, I could split my skull open.
I've been thinking about some methods I would like to use, preferably I'd like to shoot myself in the head but I cannot aquire a firearm in this country.
So I'll probably jump or throw myself in front of a train, I guess I just want something violent like a very last scream for help even tho it's way too late.
Recommend me something.
I already regret writing all of this.

i'm so very sorry you're feeling like this and that you've been brushed off. when you say your attempts aren't seen, do you mean in real life? or on here? either way it must feel horrible.

 

[highjumping]

i'm so very sorry you're feeling like this and that you've been brushed off. when you say your attempts aren't seen, do you mean in real life? or on here? either way it must feel horrible.

in real life
people here were really the only ones every telling me they were proud

 

[peelingbananas]

in real life
people here were really the only ones every telling me they were proud

ah i see. i'm glad you found some people who gave you the attention you deserve, but you deserve that offline too. what kind of things did they say when you tried to express yourself?

 

[sillygirl]

I'll probably be ending my life soon since I am nothing but a disappointment to the people I care about.
I thought this would hurt more but I don't actually care.
I am angry at myself, I'm never enough and my attempts at recovery aren't seen, I'm so fucking tired of this.
I am trying for so many people but it doesn't matter to them and I hope that once I am dead they will see how fucking miserable I was and that I can't always do anything by myself.
I feel pathetic for writing this, for feeling like this because I know everyone is so disappointed but fuck you.
Just fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Fuck everyone for not being here, I hope you regret it when I am gone.
I am so fucking angry, I could split my skull open.
I've been thinking about some methods I would like to use, preferably I'd like to shoot myself in the head but I cannot aquire a firearm in this country.
So I'll probably jump or throw myself in front of a train, I guess I just want something violent like a very last scream for help even tho it's way too late.
Recommend me something.
I already regret writing all of this.

fuck them, whatever you decide to do should be for yourself and yourself only, bcs obviously they don't deserve anything from you