Venting I found out an ex friend was a pedophile

[deadverysoon]

in my opinion its 50/ 50.

maybe you have genetics with a higher risk to pedoshit. bit also the important years in childhood have influence of developing a pedophipenthing.

have no proof for this - its just a theory. but the last case gives hope to vanish that wity the right therapy instead of killing.

but as soon as there is no cure @nd only 100% sure better kill them or lock tgem up.

anything else is witg-hunting like 1000 years ago.

fundamental research should be the first priority.

 

[Ch92921]

I guess there is no neurobiological research about pedophilia!

 

[SleepDealer]

It seems like in making your point, you've almost argued the same reasoning as the slippery slope crowd in your rebuttal...

Also, everything you've said, is from the current understanding of these things, and that's the point of her research, is to change the classifications, based on science, and move the understanding forward, in order to keep children safe.

Like nothing you've said is wrong, but it doesn't move the discussion forward, it just stagnates progress because all you're doing is telling people how things are, not how they might be, pending further scientific investigation.

What? I was supposed to move understanding forward with my post? How? Perhaps I misunderstood what you're getting at, but I am not a neuroscientist or psychologist of any kind. I only wanted to clarify what pedophilia is (a paraphilia connected to a disorder) and what it is not (a sexual orientation). To be completely blunt, I am just here to pass time before I kill myself.

I guess there is no neurobiological research about pedophilia!

There is. I didn't quite understand your last post, it seems to have a lot of typos or something. If you're talking about whether or not this is the result of nature vs nurture, then from my understanding... studies show that both are possible. Some are born, some are made.

 

[TongueDrummer]

What? I was supposed to move understanding forward with my post? How? Perhaps I misunderstood what you're getting at, but I am not a neuroscientist or psychologist of any kind. I only wanted to clarify what pedophilia is (a paraphilia connected to a disorder) and what it is not (a sexual orientation). To be completely blunt, I am just here to pass time before I kill myself.

You completely missed the point. Or maybe you don't understand the definition of 'new'.

 

[TriggerHappy]

....I hope you didn't let them babysit...?!

(I'm so sorry, but i couldn't resist) :: h8rs gonna h8 anyways.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

Two months ago I found out one of my friends was a pedophile and I'm struggling with the idea of me being friends with someone so vile and not even knowing.

The mere existence of such awful people makes me want to hurl myself off the nearest building, the urge just gets stronger every week.

There aren't any buildings high enough with roof access where I live unfortunately, I feel trapped.

He was a normal guy, he was kind, he was just, your average Joe. Or maybe he wasn't, maybe im just easily manipulated! I don't even know anymore!

But what I do know is, he's a sick and manipulative bastard.

I had cut contact with my friend group a month prior to that because things just didn't feel right. The unspoken tension between the 3 of them was just too much for me. I was also just too depressed to interact with anyone.

I cut them all out, but I still cared about them, even though I didn't want to.

They never outright said what was going on, but I still felt it.

A few months earlier we were playing video games together after work and just in general, having an okay time as pals.

And after I left the group, everyone was at each other's throats. I never saw myself as being the glue that kept everything together, but I guess I was.

It started out as petty drama from what I was told, then it spiraled into something awful.

I'll spare you the details, but, they found real and drawn C////P on his computer (mostly real children) gigabytes of it

He's not in jail or anything because he ran off somewhere before the cops arrived.

I'm so fucking angry at myself and at that thing that doesn't even quality for being human.

I don't know what to do, I don't want to care about these people, but we knew each other for so long. I'm disgusted with his actions, but there's a part of me that still cares. I hate him so much.

It's been two months, but I just can't get over it. Sometimes I blame myself and I don't even know why.

Maybe I could have prevented him from getting this bad, maybe I could have tied him down while my friend was calling the cops so he wouldn't have gotten away, the list goes on really.

Sorry if I don't respond to anything, I'm just so tired.

This isn't on you. I've been in the same boat a couple of times and it's far more insidious than people realise.

Paedophiles generally look like anybody else. You can have a laugh with them, you can talk to them, they just seem okay.

But then little things start coming out. So-called 'philosophical' questions like, "what if there was no age of consent". Then a few months later, "I was looking at this girl on the bus..."

Hardest is when you can't nail them for anything. It's like.. do you get rid or do you keep them around to keep an eye on them. It's fucked.

Personally, I let them go. It isn't on me to handle and I'm not getting sent to hell for being their friend. Maybe it isn't fair but I don't give a damn.

 

[demuic]

Wtf is going on in this thread?

 

[Makko]

Wtf is going on in this thread?

What in particular did you expect?

 

[EOL4ME]

A pedophile isn't necessarily a child molester? Absolutely, but if a pedophile lived next door to you, would you still be making that distinction? I'm seeing a surprising amount of understanding for the perpetrator, but would any of you be fine with them living in your community?

Most people automatically believe that all pedophiles are monsters. Thinking in such a black and white way is foolish/lazy, but I can't blame them. Despite my better judgment, I'm guilty of demonizing pedophiles too. And I think everyone in this thread is as well, despite what they may say.

I guess I'm just having a hard time buying the authenticity of the comments that are more "understanding" to the person who was viewing those files.


Those two things aren't mutually exclusive. How do you know they never seeked help?

I think it absolutely does matter. Participation would mean they helped create CP. Paying for it would be funding CP. Those things are way worse than just downloading it, in my opinion.

I think the only message that is sent by downloading those files is "there is an audience." (as horrifying as that is.)

And as far as abuse goes, there is a chance that viewing those files was keeping them from actually molesting a child. Though I don't think there is any way to actually prove that.

Logically, I don't think that's true about someone succumbing to their sexual desires by downloading those images.

But emotionally, I completely agree. It's just too hard NOT to reactively demonize pedophiles, in my opinion. As much as I try to be understanding to everyone, I was genuinely shocked by some of these comments (purely emotionally, not logically).

You're on a suicide site where many of us will or have received the support and resources to soon end our individual sufferings at our own hands ... several have done their acts on the site in real-time <-(and not even pondered the correct use of such hyphenations before death) ..... and you're .... "shocked". Hmmmmm I guess I'm shocked you're shocked ..... :-)

 

[Darkover]

i think you find its genetics that play a big role if someone is attracted to children or not or if they was sexual abused as a child

 

[Hikikomori1]

Your taste for entertainment is just one part of your life. Serial killers typically live normal lives too and are appreciated by their communities, the only difference between them and "normal guys" is that they prefer to spend their evenings murdering rather than watching Netflix.

Pedophiles aren't Serial killers so that's not a good comparison.

It is only victimless if it doesn't involve real children being filmed.


You are not responsible for his actions, and you knew nothing about them anyway. Give yourself a break.

Viewing this material may actually prevent child molestation. So as bad as it is, maybe your friend was trying to cope with his problem by using the lesser of two evils.

This is the best comment ever.

I guess there is no neurobiological research about pedophilia!

There is but the research is very biased.

Pedophile does not equal child molester!

This.

A pedophile isn't necessarily a child molester?

Ummmm?? Yeah.... The definition of pedophilia is sexual/romantic attraction to pre-pubescent children.

The vast majority of pedophiles are also attracted to adults and many are married and have their own kids and don't molest any at all and live normal lives.

Also most child molesters aren't pedophiles they are sadist.

I do feel for pedophiles who suffer because of their illness because majority of them do not act upon their desires, however..I don't agree with them going out and actively seeking out CP, that's really disgusting and evil.

Fair enough but they gotta have something to help them. Even Japan understands this which is why they still have not bent the knee to America and not yet banned pedo manga and Loli anime.

I agree and disagree with some of your points. I don't think that it's natural..because being attracted to children period is just extremely dangerous. And it's incredibly sad for the person that's attracted to them because they probably won't ever find love and function in this society or any society for that matter because children should be protected. And it's also just not sustainable since Children age out of what they look like, where as gay people are attracted to the same sex, NOT a particular age group. So let's say in a world where pedophiles can date children, what happens when that child grows up and matures? They're just going to fall out of love and move onto the next child, causing another child more trauma. I know you're not saying that they should be allowed to date Children, I'm only trying to push my point further that although you and this doctor claim it's natural, I think it's far from natural and it is an illness.

Again most pedophiles like adults too exclusive pedophiles are actually rare compared to non-exclusive ones.

People won't like this narrative, but I'll throw it out there anyway. This info comes from a TED Talk a few years back.

A mental health professional talked about how her research, was indicating the possibility that pedophilia is a completely natural sexual orientation. That it's no different to being heterosexual or homosexual.

She clarifies the distinction between a pedophile, who is someone who is attracted to children, which is possibly completely natural, and an abuser of children, which never has, and never will be okay.

Furthermore she talked about how, many pedophiles hate themselves for their sexual desires, and that the current penal system of locking away offenders, and then releasing them back into society, doesn't work. Because typically, they haven't received treatment.

She was treating pedophiles, and finding that her patients were at far lower risk or recommitting the same crimes, than offenders who had been to prison, and not been treated. She talked about how if as a society, we can de-stigmatize pedophilia, then theoretically, more of them would seek help. Concluding that in a weird way, if we can de-stigmatize pedophilia, we can keep children far safer, than in our current broken system.

If this was the 1960's or something, this OP might have been talking about how he is sick to his stomach because he just found out his friend was gay. Thankfully we've made progress since then, and gay people are at less risk of being attacked. Maybe if this Doctor manages to get her work out there, children will be a lot safer.

Great post.

Bestiality and pedophilia have more in common with each other

LMFAO no they don't and most pedos hate Zoophiles and want nothing to do with them.