PurplePerson
I want to be wanted
- Nov 8, 2025
- 26
I feel terrible. Mentally, not physically. I cant stop thinking about sh. It's been in my head all day and it won't go away. I'm so tired of these thoughts and I don't know if I'll be able to last like this
On top of that, i just feel lonely. I have friends, but it doesn't actually feel like im their friend. It just feels like i exist. The last person that made me feel wanted randomly stopped talking to me one day and I dont know what I did wrong. I keep screwing everything up and im so suck of myself. Im so disgusting and it's horrible. I dont want to be here anymore. I really dont. I just really want all of it to stop. I want to be normal for once. The thoughts are too much and I know im weak enough to give in. I wish I wasnt like this. I wish I was as happy as I act. Things would be so much easier. I want to vent to my friends but I know how it will end out. Ill end up driving them away. Im so tired. Im so so tired and I don't know what to do with myself. Im scared overall, scared of my thoughts and my own actions. I dont know what I did to deserve to feel like this, but I still wouldn't wish this pain on anyone else. Sometimes I think thats why I feel this way, because other people wouldn't be able to handle it. My purpose in life is to make others happy, and I wish someone could do that for me, I really do, but I dont deserve that. I haven't earned the right to be happy and I never will. I hope this isnt the end. I want to see the stars tomorrow and bask in their light, but I might end up becoming a star myself.
On top of that, i just feel lonely. I have friends, but it doesn't actually feel like im their friend. It just feels like i exist. The last person that made me feel wanted randomly stopped talking to me one day and I dont know what I did wrong. I keep screwing everything up and im so suck of myself. Im so disgusting and it's horrible. I dont want to be here anymore. I really dont. I just really want all of it to stop. I want to be normal for once. The thoughts are too much and I know im weak enough to give in. I wish I wasnt like this. I wish I was as happy as I act. Things would be so much easier. I want to vent to my friends but I know how it will end out. Ill end up driving them away. Im so tired. Im so so tired and I don't know what to do with myself. Im scared overall, scared of my thoughts and my own actions. I dont know what I did to deserve to feel like this, but I still wouldn't wish this pain on anyone else. Sometimes I think thats why I feel this way, because other people wouldn't be able to handle it. My purpose in life is to make others happy, and I wish someone could do that for me, I really do, but I dont deserve that. I haven't earned the right to be happy and I never will. I hope this isnt the end. I want to see the stars tomorrow and bask in their light, but I might end up becoming a star myself.
