Venting I feel stupid for wanting to die now that my partner left

[WantsToJumpAlready]

6 year relationship over.. the emotional pain is so severe that every inch of my body aches of extreme pain. I would go to an emergency room for how bad the pain is if the cause of it was actually physical. I never really disclosed to him much of my suicidality, but he would be the person that would pop in my head whenever I'd think about actually doing it. In moments I'd be close, I'd think about him being absolutely devastated if I cbt'd and then I'd change my mind.. now that's he's gone I can't take it.

 

[Coal54321]

I'm in the same situation. 6 year relationship recently ended and I think there's nothing I can do.

 

[Loser1989]

Dont feel stupid, either of you. When I split with my ex I felt the same. I had a pressure in my chest and it felt like everything was over. But after some time passed i realised it wasn't the end of my world.

It took a while, a lot of coping mechanisms and reaching out to family. I know that isn't feasable for a lot of people but finding someone to talk to about your mindset is helpful. Even someone anonymous can be a great comfort.

I hope you're taking care of yourself. It feels hollow and empty to say but I do truly mean it.

The reason I brought up my own experience is to validate your feelings and to let you know a lot of people know how you feel, and can relate. But they can also tell you the pain is temporary. Please give yourselves time.

 

[Regen]

When I was abandoned the pain was absolutely unbearable. I thought I was dying of pain every second. I also tried to kill myself because it was too bad. But SI was stronger.

It sounds so boring, but today I am very happy that I didn't kill myself because of this man. Today the pain is over and I see more clearly.

I think that for people who have had strong fears of loss and experiences of abandonment as a baby or child, a separation can re-enact the separation from their mother that they experienced as a baby/child. Being separated from their mother is absolutely life-threatening for small children. And that's why it feels so existentially painful when you experience a breakup as an adult.
At least that's what I think to myself, my pain from the separation went far beyond the normal level.

I really thought the pain would never end. But the pain lied to me, it passed.