Venting i feel so depressed i dont even feel like sh

[strawberrydino]

im so tired of it and sh doesnt feel like anything yeah it kinda burns and helps me calm down but its so tedious to deal with all. i dont wanna do anything including sh. i wish i just disappeared. i wish i was brave enough to just kms or smth so that people would care but they wouldnt so whats the point.

 

[sorlox]

that's very relatable. I'm sorry that you're going through that.

 

[lifewasawillow]

I relate a lot to what you said. Even sh doesn't help anymore, nothing does, the only thing that can help me now is death.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

i dont wanna do anything including sh.

I'm so sorry that you reached this point... When I was in my worst state of mind, I self-harmed in order to motivate myself. I cut my arm and even though it wasn't deep, I felt good.
I think it's a pure torture when you don't want to do anything including self-harm. I'm so sorry.

i wish i was brave enough to just kms or smth so that people would care but they wouldnt so whats the point.

I'm sorry people around you haven't care about you, but caring people are rare I think.
Fortunately I have a friend who is really compassionate, and it was sheer luck that I met her in a psych ward.
She has bipolar I and her life has been a living hell. And I have bipolar II, so we suffer together.
I don't think people who haven't experienced severe depression, physical pain, disability etc. can relate to us, and people in general tend to think it's our fault.

Sometimes they seem to care, but I think in most cases it's just virtue signalling.
So I surprised people on this forum are so compassionate - they actually try to make our day a bit less unbearable, even when it seems to be impossible.

i wish i just disappeared.

CTB'ing is so hard, and I sometimes feel like the earth is a huge prison designed to keep us here and make us suffer. That's why pro-lifers try to remove peaceful CTB methods - they know we're suffering and will suffer as long as we're here - and I guess, they think we should suffer, like criminals in jail - life is a punishment.

But we don't have to suffer alone, especially on this forum - I hope you find support here