I don't feel some emotions or I don't 'feel' at sometimes. I feel like I am a monster..I don't know if I am a psychopath or whatever . I don't feel happiness but I feel sadness sometimes. If something I wanted strongly to happen happened irl, I will feel 'ok. It's done'. It can't go more than that.i put on a smile sometimes if I am among people to appear normal. I have problems with relationships with people since I was a kid. I had extreme anxiety, fear, used to get stomach pains due to fear , I used to not follow some norms when I was a kid, I was punished since everyone thought it to be arrogance. I used to get numb emotionally, I used to not know that I have to follow the norm. It is hell tbh. I used to not know why a part of me acts that way and I don't want to suffer.