Venting I feel my time is coming

[fyer]

Hello. I've written here a few weeks ago, but not much have changed. I'd like to live but my life's been unbearable for last few months. I have ibs, daily tension headaches for 14 months (i thing due to permanent stress, bad sleep habits, high screen time). But since 2 months i've had urinary/genital/pelvic issues. Like urinary discomfort, disconfort in genitals most of the day, short stinging pains and tension like pains in the pelvis. It all started after just 3 days of topical finasteride (i had some pain down there just before, probably due to the fear of this drug). I try to delude myself that it can be somewhat psychosomatic, anxiety related but it doesnt seem to go away. my nervous system is all the time on high alert. i have sn (at least 98 percent pure) and acquired metoclopramide recently. I'd like to get out of this shit but cannot bear the burden that i destroyed my life with fucking finasteride, only fucking 3 days, topically. I'd like to believe that its possible for it to be anxiety-related, but i just can't. It's not possible to live like that even if i want. I am a medical student, i thought i would achieve something and become happy. But my body let me down. I don't think its possible to recover and i dont want to live like this. i cant believe that something can change. I think in january i will just end up my misery. I deserve that. hope that sn protocol will work, but i dont know if i could do it exactly as adviced