I feel lost

[Sprite_Geist]

I have always had difficulty forming and maintaining relationships with other people. The majority of people who I have met throughout my life so far got along with me fine, but most of them were not people who I had (or have) a strong connection to; even when I do find somebody or a small group who I "gel", or connect with really well they never stay around long enough for a friendship to form, and from my own experience it is usually because we met at the wrong place, or the wrong time; I ruminate about these awesome people from weeks, months or even years ago who I regret not reaching out to more, and I think about what "could" have been, or what "should" have been; these awful feelings are compounded by the fact that I have never met anybody else like them... this fills me with a strong feeling of regret and anxiety which turns into pain... it is torture. I think this is the reason why I became closed off years back, as I have mentioned in previous forum posts, because it is an attempt to not mentally torture myself by thinking about past failures and potential lost relationships, but this only causes me to push away others who could be a good match for me, and this makes the issue worse. The cycle continues...

I am surrounded by strangers who I have no bond with. Those who I did bond with are either no longer around, or they will leave soon due to real world circumstances. I am empty. I am lost.


What I have written above does not begin to describe what I am thinking currently, and there is also so much more I wanted to say on this topic, but I am tired and would probably write something messy.

Is there anybody else who feels or has experienced anything similar?

 

[FishRain3469]

I feel all of this Veryy much, I'm sorry you are having to deal with it also. It's DownRight fckn maddening.

Thoughts and prayers to you, take care of yourself. You're worth it. ♥