Venting I feel like they‘ll only start caring once I‘m gone

[Rudi]

I love the people around me, I'd listen to them no matter what. If they'd have suicidal thoughts I'd sit down for hours listening to them and tell them I'm here to comfort them.

Except exactly those people would never do that for me. They can't seem to take me serious. I'm usually pretty energetic and happy around them and whenever I indicate or directly say that I wanna let something out they laugh and joke about it and then I feel like they don't care.

They either only care when I'm upset or they only care when I'm happy, and I just wish it wouldn't be like that.
They sometimes tell me they appreciate me quite a lot and that they're glad I'm here and they actually mean it but I wish they would show it. Sometimes I feel like a really sensitive person who doesn't feel loved unless people actually listen to his endless vents and rants.
I stopped asking if I could let some stuff out to people - I feel like I'd either ruin their mood or they won't take me serious and that'd be hella embarrassing.

And then I wonder if they'll start caring once I die, once I'm just gone. But I don't want to make them regret stuff so I don't show that I'm upset either. I don't know how to cope with this.

 

[everydaythesame]

People pretend to care when were gone to make themselves feel better for treating us like shit. Stay strong.

 

[Rudi]

People pretend to care when were gone to make themselves feel better for treating us like shit. Stay strong.

thank you.

and yeah, true, sometimes i feel like some humans were born to be selfish just because of that only. kinda sad how they can't just care while were here and while we're gone. I thought that's normal human decency.