![xxHello^^xx](/data/avatars/l/86/86321.jpg?1703830663)
xxHello^^xx
Member
- Dec 27, 2023
- 7
I feel like I'm finally ready to go through. ![Pink heart :pink_heart: 🩷](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1fa77.png)
My plan is to hang myself, I really don't care about the pain I just want to get out of this sadistic world asap. The only thing holding me back right now is my religious trauma. I grew up conditioned into believing "suicide" was deemed evil and punishable. I never understood why those who were suicidal were so negatively judged, because of this I thought I was strange, as I felt blessed to have the option to leave this life at will. Yet I still fear of what's to come when I die. As sick and twisted as it seems to me to call another selfish for such a decision my religious trauma still holds me back. Although I know it's not true I still feel doubt and guilt. I am so very grateful to of found this group, for years I felt unease speaking about such idealizations, I didn't want to be lectured on all that I have to live for. I simply yearned for support of my decision, and here I have finally found that. I want to thank you guys for being the family I never had, for being so accepting.
You guys give me hope that not everything is evil in this world.
I am so close to freedom, I can feel it. All I need is one final push. So I ask for your support once more. Please reassure me of acceptance in my decision, I just wish for supportive messages so that I don't feel so guilty.
Once again, thank you all so much for everything.![Heart hands: light skin tone :heart_hands_tone1: 🫶🏻](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1faf6-1f3fb.png)
![Pink heart :pink_heart: 🩷](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1fa77.png)
![Pink heart :pink_heart: 🩷](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1fa77.png)
![Pink heart :pink_heart: 🩷](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1fa77.png)
I am so close to freedom, I can feel it. All I need is one final push. So I ask for your support once more. Please reassure me of acceptance in my decision, I just wish for supportive messages so that I don't feel so guilty.
Once again, thank you all so much for everything.
![Heart hands: light skin tone :heart_hands_tone1: 🫶🏻](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1faf6-1f3fb.png)