I feel like giving up

[Kadaver]

I feel like things are just too hard…like this hole I'm in is too deep and I just don't have the energy to climb out. I really think that everyone would be happier if I was gone. I only have a few people that truly care about me and I think once the grief wasn't as raw they would be better off. They wouldn't have me to drag them down.

I also just hate myself so deeply. I feel like I don't deserve to live. I feel wrong. I cant remember a time when life felt good and right. I dont want to be fighting this uphill battle all my fucking life. I won't do it. Maybe it's just better to end it now and get it over with.

If I do it I can only hope my best friend will forgive me. He's told me before that if I ctb he would blame himself, but it's truly my fault. I'm the one who's feels like giving up constantly. I'm the one who can't handle life. He can only help me so much. Maybe I'm just unable to be helped

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be tiring and dreadful what you have to endure, to me it's understandable wishing to be free from all the suffering that existing brings. But anyway best wishes.