Judah
Enlightened
- Oct 1, 2020
- 1,540
To summarize a large part of my life, I wanted to contribute a little to society by betraying many people who did bad things in my country and who are brought before the law, something that I almost always achieved successfully but had its consequences, today I receive Threat mail in my mail and therefore I cannot return to my native country.
Why am I counting this? Because this fact greatly influences my decision about CTB, I have an intense desire for CTB but I want to do it in the future when I feel peace with myself and I no longer have anything to offer to this world, I don't want to do it because of some kind of pressure, and is that these emails were one of the biggest reasons why I tried CTB the last time, I felt quite pressured and feared that at any moment they would send some thug from my native country to torture me, naturally I realized that this was highly unlikely, I have known quite a bit how to protect my identity and currently I immediately walk away from someone when I feel someone is following me, but nevertheless, I don't want my CTB decision to be because I feel pressured or threatened or something like that.
Why am I counting this? Because this fact greatly influences my decision about CTB, I have an intense desire for CTB but I want to do it in the future when I feel peace with myself and I no longer have anything to offer to this world, I don't want to do it because of some kind of pressure, and is that these emails were one of the biggest reasons why I tried CTB the last time, I felt quite pressured and feared that at any moment they would send some thug from my native country to torture me, naturally I realized that this was highly unlikely, I have known quite a bit how to protect my identity and currently I immediately walk away from someone when I feel someone is following me, but nevertheless, I don't want my CTB decision to be because I feel pressured or threatened or something like that.