Venting I feel comforted now that I have SN

[Nefera]

My SN package finally arrived and I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders knowing that I can end it on my own terms.

I've had failed attempts in the past due to just being too young and desperate to CTB but without knowledge about it, now I feel confident that I'm actually prepared.

I don't need to feel that anguish of not knowing how it's going to end, if one day my mental issues would take the best out of me and leave me in a permanent state of delirious psychosis or from being locked into a irrational state, being completely vulnerable after losing my mind...

All the pressure of being a woman where you have to be an overachiever since you've been born just to get the basic achievements in society all the while a man would get just by barely trying at all.

That looming fear of working endlessly (my generation won't be able to retire in my country) to avoid homelessness is completely gone because I don't have to if I don't want!

I wish I wasn't born and felt like I didn't even had a right over my own body/life and was forced to survive a miserable life with my dysfunctional brain but now I feel like I was given the choice.

TY for everyone who provided information into this forum!

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel comforted at knowing you have a way to be free from all the suffering, it must be a relief having the SN, best wishes.

 

[wyo777]

Good luck with any of the choice that u will make.

 

[Cress]

Yeah I feel comforted having access to it stored away. There are those that would want to take it away from me depriving me of having the option regardless if I actually use it or not.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

I feel a weight lifted too. A tonne still dragging me down, endlessly down. But just gotta shrug them off one by one until I can CTB. I really hope it's soon…