Venting I feel bad I can't kill myself

[lonely&trapped.]

Title is self explanatory

Im sorry I am an attention seeker, I feel bad I don't have the courage to kill myself unlike people who are legit suicidal.

Im a piece of shit, I still don't know why I am here but I am not brave enough to kill myself, all I do all day is just sleep in bed but I don't have the courage to die.

I'm sorry.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Anyone that is able to read your post is likely in the same boat. We'd all be gone if it was easy.

So easy to come into to life, virtually impossible to get out. This is something I wish all prospective parents would consider before deciding to procreate.

 

[AmericanMary]

I am so happy we crossed paths and I'm so proud of all of your hard efforts LT <3

 

[Mors.Mors.Mors]

Title is self explanatory

Im sorry I am an attention seeker, I feel bad I don't have the courage to kill myself unlike people who are legit suicidal.

Im a piece of shit, I still don't know why I am here but I am not brave enough to kill myself, all I do all day is just sleep in bed but I don't have the courage to die.

I'm sorry.

I feel the same way. I don't have the courage to live, nor the courage to die. Exhausting.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Not everyone who is suicidal attempts. Most people who are suicidal actually don't end up taking their own lives. Also, attempting isn't fucking easy and can come with all sorts of risks if things go wrong, so not attempting is understandable. There isn't anything to feel bad about, especially when there are members on here who also haven't attempted before. You are suicidal, whether you attempt or not.

 

[emptyenvelopes]

you are not alone in this and feeling this way does not make you bad. It makes you human. Sending virtual hugs!

 

[temporal_anchorite]

Homie, you just described me.

What sucks too is when other people think you're merely vying for attention and completely dismiss your pain.

 

[Sasukecel]

Killing yourself is hard because it goes against your survival instincts. It's like if you were placed on top of a building and were told to jump, you may want to die, but you would be paralysed. So you shouldn't feel bad for an instinct that was out of your control.

 

[Daryl72]

Anyone that is able to read your post is likely in the same boat. We'd all be gone if it was easy.

So easy to come into to life, virtually impossible to get out. This is something I wish all prospective parents would consider before deciding to procreate.

Excellent point.

 

[UKscotty]

Be gentle on yourself.

Killing ourselves is literally the last resort and most unnatural thing we can do. Our natural state is to want to live.

When you are ready, you will know. There is no rush. Don't set pointless CTB dates or deadlines for yourself, you are just setting yourself up for a feeling of failure as it is extremely unlikely you will follow through.

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[Forever Sleep]

There's nothing to be sorry for. This forum is a place to discuss issues we are having trouble with- especially ideation. There's no obligation to kill yourself because you joined. That would actually be a death cult!

I'm not totally sure I'll have the guts to do it either. I hope I will but, it's impossible to know till the time comes. I actually imagine perhaps the majority of members here don't kill themselves in the end. Imagine if we had nowhere to talk about it though? Without the kind of responses you get in 'real' life. That would be awful!

 

[FuneralCry]

You shouldn't have to apologise. Suicide isn't straightforward after all, in fact to me it's the complete opposite, I wish it's as easy as never waking again, to me it'd be so ideal to just never wake again. But anyway best wishes.

 

[hoppybunny]

Title is self explanatory

Im sorry I am an attention seeker, I feel bad I don't have the courage to kill myself unlike people who are legit suicidal.

Im a piece of shit, I still don't know why I am here but I am not brave enough to kill myself, all I do all day is just sleep in bed but I don't have the courage to die.

I'm sorry.

First off, i love your profile pic. Suicide boy is one of my favourite webtoons.

Secondly, I feel you so bad. When my suicidal urges got really bad around 2022 I started spending most of my day asleep. I think I average about 4 hours awake a day now. And my parents think I'm a lazy piece of shit too.


I want to tell you this, you're not any less suicidal for being scared to die. Death is literally the scariest thing ever cause you really have no idea what happens to you after. I also haven't killed myself cause I'm scared of dying or more specifically, I'm scared of going to hell. So please don't feel bad.

You're not alone in how you feel and you're not trash or less suicidal for being scared.

Personally I don't think laziness as a co kept exists. Not wanting to work isn't a bad thing but we have to accept the consequences of being alive and not wanting to sustain it. So unfortunately even though we're born against our will we have to work to maintain being alive.

So like you're not lazy if you sleep all day but like you also shouldn't be like surprised if the people keeping you alive are tired of you. I don't why but that way of thinking makes me feel a little better.

Like I don't feel as bad sleeping all the time and I get motivated to do things occasionally cause I know once my fam gets sick of me I'm on my own. So I either have to work or resolve myself to die.

I'm too chicken to die so I've chosen work but I still sleep all day but now I know that a part of me is thinking about working.


This was long and I'm sorry if it made no sense.

Tldr: don't feel bad about being scared to die. Death is scary as hell and don't feel bad about sleeping all day, I do it too and you were born without your consent so like it's not a big deal if you don't want to maintain your existence.

 

[OnlyOneSolution]

Big hug for this whole thread. It's like a recording from my brain after two days worth of self talk.

Title is self explanatory

Im sorry I am an attention seeker, I feel bad I don't have the courage to kill myself unlike people who are legit suicidal.

Im a piece of shit, I still don't know why I am here but I am not brave enough to kill myself, all I do all day is just sleep in bed but I don't have the courage to die.

I'm sorry.

To me, your letter is the anthem for this site. Well stated.

I wish none of us had to feel this way.