Venting I failed again

[Freedom21]

After I failed recovery and being alone for the first time since COVID happened. I once again decided to try partial hanging. I don't know if it's just me but I can't make it work. I am now left with a bunch of broken capillaries. I honestly am so frustrated because that is the only method I really have. I know in my heart I'm not going to die of old age but I want to die now. The only way out now is either going on a vacation and trying to find an isolated place to jump or somehow getting a gun. I can barely get out of bed most days how am I supposed to act well enough to go on a trip. My family doesn't believe in guns but I could probably get one if I wasn't a giant ball of social anxiety. Florida sadly does deserve its reputation. I know suicide is always going to be there but I hate this pain. I'm leaning more toward the jumping my family really wants to travel but I have no idea how it's not going to look odd if I wonder off at night. I hate going to places alone. I'm going to have to somehow push myself to go out despite the fact that I want to stay in bed all day. I'm incredibly angry at myself for getting my hopes up at succeeding. Really frustrated

 

[nopointofliving]

I failed before, I fail daily, I'm failing now. Welcome to failing club! Yay! Life is never easy, the pain is real. I can't say everything will be fine, because it probably won't. But I will say we are already strong facing all this pain on daily basis, we aren't weak. We just get hit many times, we just bleed too much, we just have many wounds, and that doesn't make us a failure but a courageous patient warrior. I feel your pain dear one. Let me hug you, and let's cry for a while. We deserve some peace, don't we?!

 

[NormaJeane]

Hanging is difficult and can fail if you do not know how to do it. A foolproof method is to tape mouth and nose around the head with a big and strong tape. You will die of lack of oxygen within 11 - 30 minutes. I have written a thread about this method.

 

[Scribble Fan]

You're not alone, I also can't get partial to work. I just end up with a bunch of red marks on my neck. I think it's a very difficult method to pull off.

 

[MG_39]

Hanging is difficult and can fail if you do not know how to do it. A foolproof method is to tape mouth and nose around the head with a big and strong tape. You will die of lack of oxygen within 11 - 30 minutes. I have written a thread about this method.

That would be very painful though, and there is no lack of painful methods. Most people want a method that is reliable and not too painful.

 

[FuneralCry]

I know how you feel, it really is hard to take our own lives. Methods can go wrong and other people can get in the way. It really is a frustrating feeling, when we intend to and want to leave, but we feel like we can't, it is like being trapped. People shouldn't be forced to suffer and I wish there was peaceful ways out if we wanted one.

 

[WornOutLife]

I failed 3 times in a row with partial. It just doesn't work for me. I'm done.

Sorry you're going through this.

Hope you can feel better soon!

Hugs and love,

Matt