Venting I don't wish for a funeral

[pymeow]

I am 20, I live in KE.
I have lost a brother to illness before, it was back in 2011.
I had a dream future that I don't see myself in. I have done a lot of bad things and the will to change has brought me here, I realized that I can't change anything about me, I'm a monster, a horrible disgrace...I don't deserve to be called a son, a brother or a partner.
I feel like maybe It'll hurt my family to see my grave every day, the grave of a coward son...it will be a shame to them. It is my wish to donate my corpse for some medical students to learn anatomy, with that, I'll have done some good in my death. My heart has really chosen Egerton university. I don't know why.
I don't know one other thing, whether my zest for death will spare me a second to inform my family about this, whether they'll even honor it, I don't, I don't, it is maddening!

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It would be best if you memorialized that wish in a legal will and testament. Otherwise, it could end up being left to family and friends to make that determination for you.

 

[pymeow]

It would be best if you memorialized that wish in a legal will and testament. Otherwise, it could end up being left to family and friends to make that determination for you.

Thanks for the advice

 

[locked*n*loaded]

BTW, although not really a funeral, you can't stop family, friends, etc from "getting together" to celebrate your life, or remember you, after you've died, but you can stop your remains, or cremains, from being part of any funeral-like get together, which is what you would dictate in a will - "my remains are barred from being used in any funeral, etc that family, friends, etc might hold for me after my demise". Can't stop the "getting together" itself, only "your" part in it.