I dont want to want to ctb

[Arnar]

I feel like I want to die - but I dont Want to want to die, so I guess that must mean I dont wanna die? How do you deal with guilt and shame, and memories of doing things that make people you care about lose all respect for you? I'll probably ctb in july, I want to do it now but making a spontaneous decision is obviously not a good idea. I also really want to stop intrusive automatic thoughts about how I should kms.

 

[Sweet_Lullaby]

Maybe you're just thinking on impulse. If you don't want to die, there must be something you want to live for. Hold on to that thought. We all have a past, and we can't really change it, but we can change, become a better person and build a better future.