Venting I don't want to live but too scared to suicide

[Oozzy]

I really dont know what to do. Everything and everyone around me is pushing me to suicide but I'm so scared to die. Although I am an atheist, the uncertainty after death scares me too much. I wish there was a way to start a new live in a different place and different people around me. I don't know if I should wait for things to work out or just use the Sn.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course only you know what is best for yourself, as it is your life and your decision. I know it can be dreadful feeling as if you are trapped. I'm sorry you are in this situation. I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much, whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Efilismislife]

I really dont know what to do. Everything and everyone around me is pushing me to suicide but I'm so scared to die. Although I am an atheist, the uncertainty after death scares me too much. I wish there was a way to start a new live in a different place and different people around me. I don't know if I should wait for things to work out or just use the Sn.

I feel the same way. but seems like you still have hopes thats why you hesitate. As for me I dont know why i still cant even though everything already ruined.

Guess because im too overthinking

 

[Somber]

As nobody knows what happens after death, the uncertainty is what gives hope to the hopeless.

If moving to a different place to have a different life is an option, wouldn't that be a preferential choice to make? The same can be said about things working out. If there is a realistic chance it might work out within an acceptable time frame, what do you have to lose by giving it a try?

It's not as if CBT would no longer be on the table, it's just that you have options worth exploring.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Because it's the last thing anybody ever wants to do… I would as her to guess that most of us don't crave death… We just want a better life and feel like we can't get there…

 

[frvralone]

I understand you and I feel the same *hugs*. Any choice you make is right..

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

It's completely natural. Death isn't supposed to be easy. Our bodies (and by extension, our brains) are programmed to fight against it with full force. Dying is literally the last thing you're supposed to do. I'm sorry you feel this way and I hope you find comfort.

Personally, I'm not scared of the unknown for myself, but rather how those around me will cope. Being scared of dying is another thing entirely, and it may mean that recovery is the best path for you. There are ways to start over, if you think that's essential.

 

[Crazy4u]

do you have many things to lose? if not, consider moving to a new place and live the adventure. If you feel tired or lazy, take it slowly. I wish you the best

 

[summers]

Because it's the last thing anybody ever wants to do… I would as her to guess that most of us don't crave death… We just want a better life and feel like we can't get there…

@Glovkenspiel You can have a perfect life, be rich, successful, and loved, and still get old.

@Oozzy it's not being scared, you're not ready to ctb. Nothing at all wrong with that. When/if you are ready, that fear will subside substantially. Untill then, don't force anything.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I'm in the same situation. Life keeps getting worse but I'm too scared to die.

Can you leave and start a new life at some point in the future? It might be worth it to stick it out until then.

 

[Oozzy]

I'm in the same situation. Life keeps getting worse but I'm too scared to die.

Can you leave and start a new life at some point in the future? It might be worth it to stick it out until then.

do you have many things to lose? if not, consider moving to a new place and live the adventure. If you feel tired or lazy, take it slowly. I wish you the best

As nobody knows what happens after death, the uncertainty is what gives hope to the hopeless.

If moving to a different place to have a different life is an option, wouldn't that be a preferential choice to make? The same can be said about things working out. If there is a realistic chance it might work out within an acceptable time frame, what do you have to lose by giving it a try?

It's not as if CBT would no longer be on the table, it's just that you have options worth exploring.

I will have chance to move next year and this is what keeps me away from ctb but i dont know if I cant wait one more year.

 

[Somber]

I will have chance to move next year and this is what keeps me away from ctb but i dont know if I cant wait one more year.

Of course you can, one year is a fraction of your life. I would be looking forward to 2023 if I were you. Great things ahead in the near future.

 

[StarryStarry]

I understand how you feel. I am soooo ready to call it a night, but I'm so afraid that i will fail in my attempt and wind up a vegetable or worse. If I knew for sure that I could ctb successfully, I would.

 

[enter username here]

I understand how you feel. I am soooo ready to call it a night, but I'm so afraid that i will fail in my attempt and wind up a vegetable or worse. If I knew for sure that I could ctb successfully, I would.

Me too. I'm worried that I'll mess up somehow and end up with damage and not be able to try again.

 

[Viafactorum]

Depends on where you live honestly. If you feel like the environment you are staying in is what is driving you to ctb while you still want to live my suggestion would be to get out or start planning on ways to get out. Don't think too much about what you will do after getting out, you'll figure out a way. If you are working then chances are there will be groups in your country that can help you relocate to other countries for work. If you are not working but have a sizeable bank account then I suggest looking for options to study in another country, get a student visa and immigrate there work part time jobs to sustain yourself etc. If you are financially dependent and don't have opportunities for leaving the country then call up crisis groups in your country that deal with people who are being abused. I am fairly certain most democratic nations have such groups. Your life will be hard, but you won't lose it.

 

[Space Cadet]

This title applies to me to - though I truly believe in some things that would make most people think I'm a crazy.

I believe our physical lives are temporary and we do reincarnate and start a new physical life - not always immediately and we usually do not recall anything about our previous life.
Each of us has a spirit in us that is sentient and it is this that leaves the physical body when the physical body dies and this goes to the spirit-verse. Only when we are ready for a new life does this spirit go into what we call the light and as soon as that occurs the spirit losses all personality and such that makes you, you in this life - imagine factory resetting a computer or such - and this spirit goes into a new baby in a woman's womb that's to be born in a new physical life. You then start learning lessons all over again - rinse and repeat life/death.

So I am not scared to physically die - I am scared of the pain of suicide or it going wrong and being worse off physically. I tried to overdose when I was 15 year of age and it went wrong - I never died (obviously) and had the worse ever pain and sickness I've ever had for about 8 hours and then when I admitted what I had done the following day to a member of staff in my children's home getting a stomach pump at hospital was painful, embarrassing and I was not believed as the water came out as clear as it went in - I had puked up everything, every single tablet over the course of the night and wee hours of the morning before finally admitting such around lunch time following day. To this day that experience has put me off as it was such a painful failure. Jumping from a great height or in front of a train again I am worried it will physically hurt and just can't make the leap.

Last but not least all year round I run fantasy sports games for money and run many that I hold a lot of other peoples money for in accounts of mine and feel bad that if I CTB a lot of these people will just feel I disappeared with their money. I also have so many sports betting accounts with funds in and other things that being single no one knows about like pensions, savings and investments that firms will just keep such and it wont ever find its way back to my relatives or estranged daughter. These two things greatly bother me - especially the first as I don't want to be thought of as a scammer or someone that ran away with peoples funds. I don't have a will - well not a legal one lodged with a solicitor or anything - maybe I should look into that.

I wish there was an easy painless 99% sure-fire way to painlessly die or at least only suffer pain for a nano-second.

 

[Aeathelina]

I feel this.
I just want to disappear, vanish like footprints in the sand.

 

[Hiraeth Grimoire]

I completely relate to this. Intellectually, I believe nonexistence is 100% preferable to existence (If that is what death is), but I don't know what death is, and the possibilities are quite frankly terrifying. I don't know how to ease this anxiety but I hope that you will be able to fairly easily and make peace with death, since life has been shitty.