Story I don’t wan’t to die - similliar experiences?

[GoPeaceful]

Hi, I've been here for a while, but haven't written very often. But now I just want to share my short story - honestly beacause it makes me feel a little better.

Currently I have hit my personal rock bottom. I'm 20 years old, I'm studying, I'm not broke or anything. I am just lonely. My daylie routine looks always the same: I go to university, go home, study and that's it's. There is nothing more. I have no friends to hang out with, no one who listens. I'm trapped in this situation and loneliness hits so, so hard. I feel anxious and sad the whole time, i can barely hold back tears while I'm writing this. I think at the moment I wouldn't even be able to hold a proper conversation without bursting into tears. I'm trapped: i don't have any hobbies, don't have friends to hang out with, I wouldn't even have something to take about with new people I meet, as I have no excitement in my life whatsoever. I don't want to die, but it's so hard to life lonely.

In comparison to problems other people share here, my problems don't sound that bad, but please keep in mind that pain is always very subjective.

Thank you for reading. And as always: If you need somebody to talk to, just message me.

 

[Macc Lad]

Hi, I've been here for a while, but haven't written very often. But now I just want to share my short story - honestly beacause it makes me feel a little better.

Currently I have hit my personal rock bottom. I'm 20 years old, I'm studying, I'm not broke or anything. I am just lonely. My daylie routine looks always the same: I go to university, go home, study and that's it's. There is nothing more. I have no friends to hang out with, no one who listens. I'm trapped in this situation and loneliness hits so, so hard. I feel anxious and sad the whole time, i can barely hold back tears while I'm writing this. I think at the moment I wouldn't even be able to hold a proper conversation without bursting into tears. I'm trapped: i don't have any hobbies, don't have friends to hang out with, I wouldn't even have something to take about with new people I meet, as I have no excitement in my life whatsoever. I don't want to die, but it's so hard to life lonely.

In comparison to problems other people share here, my problems don't sound that bad, but please keep in mind that pain is always very subjective.

Thank you for reading. And as always: If you need somebody to talk to, just message me.

i feel your pain buddy......i'm in the same boat at the minute , as i don't want to die right now (tried suicide twice) ....but am constantly miserable....i send you best wishes x

 

[JazzyWolfWhistle]

You will be okay. It will get better. Find some one to talk to, online, anonymously.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Hi @GoPeaceful I am glad you wrote your message as it's good to read different things from all different perspectives. Don't think that your experiences aren't "as bad" as anyone else so that somehow makes it as though it's ok, it's not x No person has more or less worth than any other.

Loneliness is crushing and really soul destroying and it can really eat away at you.
The odd thing about uni is that everyone bills it to be the most amazing social experience and for lots of people it's not like that. They end up just wanting to get it finished then they find life is far better afterwards without the heavy expectations of the 'wild socialising' that's supposed to be 'enjoyed.

Do you like what you are currently studying at uni, as in your course, and how much longer do you have to go?

Have you thought about what you might like to do afterwards?

Xx

 

[GoPeaceful]

Thanks for all the kind answers, I'm so glad that this community is so empathetic and careful. I really appreciate it.

 

[GoPeaceful]

Hi @GoPeaceful I am glad you wrote your message as it's good to read different things from all different perspectives. Don't think that your experiences aren't "as bad" as anyone else so that somehow makes it as though it's ok, it's not x No person has more or less worth than any other.

Loneliness is crushing and really soul destroying and it can really eat away at you.
The odd thing about uni is that everyone bills it to be the most amazing social experience and for lots of people it's not like that. They end up just wanting to get it finished then they find life is far better afterwards without the heavy expectations of the 'wild socialising' that's supposed to be 'enjoyed.

Do you like what you are currently studying at uni, as in your course, and how much longer do you have to go?

Have you thought about what you might like to do afterwards?

Xx

Im just finished with my first semester, so I have 6 more to go. Studying is quiet fun, but it is really hard to find friends. And as you have already mentioned those expecations from others to socialize, really destroy me. It's like an additional layer on top of the stress and sadness I already feel.
I have found two students i hang out with, make homework with, but those aren't real friends. I have those two, but I feel more alone than ever. It is so hard to express my feelings in words. Sorry, if I'm confusing you. And thanks for your kind, and caring reply.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Im just finished with my first semester, so I have 6 more to go. Studying is quiet fun, but it is really hard to find friends. And as you have already mentioned those expecations from others to socialize, really destroy me. It's like an additional layer on top of the stress and sadness I already feel.
I have found two students i hang out with, make homework with, but those aren't real friends. I have those two, but I feel more alone than ever. It is so hard to express my feelings in words. Sorry, if I'm confusing you. And thanks for your kind, and caring reply.

You're not confusing at all, it's very understandable. It's a strange thing about uni life supposedly being some giant party and it feels so lonely if you aren't part of it. I can't help but wonder though, whether the people who are in the thick of the socialising scene are also lonely and hide it by surrounding themselves with crowds of people.

I didn't go to university but one of my older sisters knew practically no one in her first year. She just did her work and then started to join things that she liked. She is good at music so she did that sort of thing. In her third year she made two close friends who are still her best friends now - thirty plus years later :-)

I hope you find a kindred spirit, someone who shares your interests and values. While you are waiting for that person or people don't forget to tell yourself that you are worthy of having lovely friends as I think if you like yourself then people will like you :-)

 

[SeekingSolace]

Making friends isn't always easy in real life, but you have a large community of like-minded individuals here who are willing to chat about their demons without judgement. You are not alone. I suffer from social anxiety and I find it very isolating, but talking with people on here is helping to combat that loneliness a bit and make me feel less secluded. I truly believe you will find some relief, but I know that doesn't lessen the pain you are currently experiencing. I urge you to keep posting on these boards and make friends with some of the great people on here. Thanks for sharing your story!

 

[GoPeaceful]

Thanks for all your warming words and tips. A big thank you, for making me feel less lonely :)

If anyone of you needs someone to talk you can always contact me, and be assured that I will do my best to help.

 

[Circles]

Hi, I've been here for a while, but haven't written very often. But now I just want to share my short story - honestly beacause it makes me feel a little better.

Currently I have hit my personal rock bottom. I'm 20 years old, I'm studying, I'm not broke or anything. I am just lonely. My daylie routine looks always the same: I go to university, go home, study and that's it's. There is nothing more. I have no friends to hang out with, no one who listens. I'm trapped in this situation and loneliness hits so, so hard. I feel anxious and sad the whole time, i can barely hold back tears while I'm writing this. I think at the moment I wouldn't even be able to hold a proper conversation without bursting into tears. I'm trapped: i don't have any hobbies, don't have friends to hang out with, I wouldn't even have something to take about with new people I meet, as I have no excitement in my life whatsoever. I don't want to die, but it's so hard to life lonely.

In comparison to problems other people share here, my problems don't sound that bad, but please keep in mind that pain is always very subjective.

Thank you for reading. And as always: If you need somebody to talk to, just message me.

Hey man I'm not going to sugar coat it, loneliness is a serious issue that may affect the rest of our lives. It's something that will eat at you making you crave for idealistic relationships that may never happen and making you feel unwanted and emptier as more days and years pass. I wish I could say something to help you but I am in the same dilemma myself. Just know it's not your fault for craving something that seems so basic. It's just the human condition and biology manipulating you. I don't want to tell you to just deal with it because I know it's not easy. Just know everyone is going through it in some way albeit at different frequencies, and sadly some more than others. I hate it too man and no explanation I can give that could help express how painful loneliness can be. I'm so sorry it has gotten to this point.