I don't want my mom to be sad

[LocalFallenAngel]

Is anyone else worried on how their mom would react? She'd be the one to find me, and I cant do that. I love her. I dont wnat her ot be sad. I dont want my friends to be sad. What happens when I die? How will they tell my friends? How will they react. How will my mom react when she finds me? I dont think I can do it with that thought in mind.

 

[Lostandfound82]

Iv been thinking about this a lot too. My mom has always fought so hard for me idk if I can do it to her.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I do. I feel very guilty when I think about it. It's also why I really hope something changes soon. I don't want to put my family through that.

 

[Iwashereonce]

For almost 8 years I struggle with chronic pain and conditions that deteriorate my body. I have gone to multiple doctors over the years, I've tried multiple treatments, conventional and functional, I have researched myself and was made fun by drs by trying all sorts of treatments and lifestyle changes. I cant take it anymore off going to so many doctors and no answers, being denied pain meds, tying new useless drugs and supplements physiotherapy. I'm only still here because of my mom, she loves me and will be devastated without me, everyone else in my life will be able to move on and and live their lives without me but not her. Its almost like a curse or a sick cosmic joke.This is why I'm still trying but I know there will be a time that I don't know that this will be enough but until then I'm going along with life.

 

[cansadodeexistir]

Eu penso o seguinte:

Não pedi pra vir a esse mundo, foi um ato egoísta dos meus pais.

Meus pais tinham alguma noção (mínima que fosse) de que o mundo nunca foi uma maravilha, e mesmo assim me inseriram nele.

Meus pais nunca buscaram saber métodos contraceptivos se gostavam tanto da coisa...

Meus pais nunca pensaram minimamente se alguém gostaria de viver nesse mundo. Parece que nunca pararam para usar a razão por um minuto que fosse. Tudo em nome da libido...

O egoísmo deles se anularia com o meu. Eu não gosto de viver, eles não pensaram se gostaria de viver ao me trazerem pra esse mundo, então se eu CTB, estaríamos quites.

Não posso servir de muleta emocional pra ninguém, luto faz parte da vida e as pessoas tem que aceitar isso e ponto. E se não aceitarem, que cometem suicídio também, oras...

Eu sequer acredito nessa coisa de família. Pra mim é só um monte de gente que vive junto, nesse Universo doido, e sabe-se lá por qual razão... Acredito que é mais questão de convenção social do que qualquer coisa.


Enfim, esse é uma forma que vejo pra não deixar de CTB por conta deles.

 

[CogitoMori]

Mine would be sad for a while, but my brothers are much more successful, she wouldn't have to help me with bills, and she's never had depression so I know she'd get over it and be fine.

 

[a_tired_autist]

This also something that have been on my mind for longer that I wished.

 

[kvorumese]

I've come to a selfish conclusion that when I won't exist, I won't be able to be empathetic towards anybody's feelings. So if I just overcome SI and successfully catch the bus, people might be sad, but I won't know it ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

 

[yumeganai]

I just think that I won't be around to see it. I mean, the universe will cease to exist for me. And her actions are what have caused some of my suicidal ideation, so I guess i kinda want her to get a taste of her own medicine. As awful as that sounds

 

[ceilng_tile]

It's so hard when you have loving family because it feels like you have to choose between living your own ruined life or ruining their life instead.

 

[Anhaedra]

Thats one of the few reasons I havent ctb yet. I saw how my gf's family reacted when she ctb. I dont want to do that to my family especially my mother. Ive a very loving mother, i dont think she would handle it well at all. She might die herself or have a stroke. She's already sick and I dont want to add to her illness.

 

[PixelPlant]

This is exactly how I feel too. Much guilt and doubt about if or when I'll do it. My mother only has me. there's no one else in her life. She has chronic pain, had cancer in the past, and I'm the only one caring for her. It's hard to think about leaving her like this, knowing she'll be alone and could even fall into depression. I know she doesn't have a bright outlook on life already. It's usually hard for me to even have much empathy for others but my mother only. I usually don't care what people think of what I do or did but this is different for me.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Is anyone else worried on how their mom would react? She'd be the one to find me, and I cant do that. I love her. I dont wnat her ot be sad. I dont want my friends to be sad. What happens when I die? How will they tell my friends? How will they react. How will my mom react when she finds me? I dont think I can do it with that thought in mind.

My mom is definitely a huge reason I haven't yet. I know my mom will be crushed. The way I've always thought about it is this: "Is my pain bad enough to willingly put my mom through this." Currently my answer is no, so I still linger here

 

[astonishedturnip]

My mom and I are the meme of Spider-Mans pointing fingers at each other because we both would be devastated if the other person dies first.

It's painful but... I would still rather die first. :/