I don't understand people with disabilities who still want to live

[boingo]

I see a lot of people on social media who are very positive despite having terrible medical conditions and disabilities, and they love their life. This makes me feel like I'm extremely weak mentally because I've got 3 chronic illnesses and I'm now likely to have a 4th which will stop me from doing a hobby which is the only thing I have in my life.
There's a guy on YouTube who got cut in half in an accident and he loves life, wants to live no matter what and says he has no depression and no trauma from that happened to him. I thought that can't be normal, but it seems I might be the one who's not normal by wanting to die because of this.

 

[R_N]

People try to find satisfaction in things they are still able to experience through their bodies, or what is left of it.

I wouldn't say I am in their shoes when it comes to mindset and "happy" attitude but lately I do feel more at peace just by accepting my life as it turned out.

Before, like everyone, I gave too much importance to things that will inevitably end. I am more comfortable with ends now.

 

[Hotsackage]

Consciousness is a rarity, so it does make sense people want to cherish it.

 

[divinemistress36]

Their brains reward centers make healthy levels of dopamine and serotonin despite being disabled . I think the reward centers are broken in some of our brains

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't understand it either. It's absurd. I have autism and I don't want to live. I think that the people who you are referring to are just insane. They can't be right in the head to want to live after going through so much

Consciousness is a rarity, so it does make sense people want to cherish it.

Just because something is rare doesn't mean that it is good

 

[kinderbueno]

Most people in this world want to live. They see life as a gift and something they should make the most of, which is why there are so many people who keep on pushing through with life and try to live it as best as they can despite any medical conditions/disabilities
Also most stuff on social media is fake, these people you see who appear to be positive all the time probably aren't like that off camera, they just don't show the bad stuff and try to create an image of being positive all the time because they don't want people to see their pain and suffering

 

[carac]

I hate to be that guy but a lot of it is about mindset. I understand that is probably incredibly offensive to some people but it is what I believe in some cases, maybe not all.

 

[Kalista]

I see a lot of people on social media who are very positive despite having terrible medical conditions and disabilities, and they love their life. This makes me feel like I'm extremely weak mentally because I've got 3 chronic illnesses and I'm now likely to have a 4th which will stop me from doing a hobby which is the only thing I have in my life.
There's a guy on YouTube who got cut in half in an accident and he loves life, wants to live no matter what and says he has no depression and no trauma from that happened to him. I thought that can't be normal, but it seems I might be the one who's not normal by wanting to die because of this.

it's social media. they will place someone in front of a camera to produce content they want shown to the masses while leaving out other important details -- and that video doesn't represent every single person struggling with disabilities. even if a second, third, or fourth video is shown, it still won't represent people with disabilities and how it should be perceived as.

quickly relating this to a similar issue to how 'beauty' is expressed on many social media platforms. a standard placed for people to follow which is unrealistic. a big reason why many men and specially women are so insecure about how they look and feel.

this is more of a reason to never compare and gauge your struggles with others. everyone has a different threshold for many things. for others to make you think otherwise can be damaging and gives a false sense of hope.

take what you see on social media with a grain of salt.

 

[voodoo689]

I saw this YouTuber's case recently, OP, everything he went through was bizarre, I was happy that he overcame it, and well, about us suicidal people having this latent desire to end our lives in a premeditated way, suicide is not at all natural, and Whether we like it or not, we become our own killers, that's why it's so common for most suicide to give up at the final moment.

 

[timetodie24]

'Inspiration porn' those are the stories that sell and get the spotlight, doesn't mean it's representative.

But I think it also comes down to quality of life and what someone is prepared and able to live with. For example - someone who has a family to live for , plenty of support at home, plenty of money to access treatments, physical therapies, adjustments to their home and life etc. to be able to do more, if they feel they have a purpose (often these inspo stories will be making money off social media or motivational speaking) - then they're going to have a better quality of life.
As opposed to someone who is living alone, unable to work or socialise, can't afford of access the health and social care they need, then they may be much more limited by the same disability .

 

[Hotsackage]

I'm just saying from their perspective, I am impartial to whatever one wants to think about life.

 

[kvsvenky100]

I saw this YouTuber's case recently, OP, everything he went through was bizarre, I was happy that he overcame it, and well, about us suicidal people having this latent desire to end our lives in a premeditated way, suicide is not at all natural, and Whether we like it or not, we become our own killers, that's why it's so common for most suicide to give up at the final moment.

Just because something is natural doesn't mean it's good. Cancer is natural. Natural disasters are natural.

 

[ironeyes]

I don't understand it either. It's absurd. I have autism and I don't want to live. I think that the people who you are referring to are just insane. They can't be right in the head to want to live after going through so much

Just because something is rare doesn't mean that it is good

also autistic, and I agree. it is beyond difficult to live in a world where everything was designed for people who are..not you.

 

[voodoo689]

Just because something is natural doesn't mean it's good. Cancer is natural. Natural disasters are natural.

Just because something is natural doesn't mean it's good. Cancer is natural. Natural disasters are natural.

your argument is a false equivalence, and I am not making a value judgment, and I have never said what is good or bad

 

[kvsvenky100]

your argument is a false equivalence, and I am not making a value judgment, and I have never said what is good or bad

Why is it a false equivalence?

 

[Eternal Eyes]

From what I recall, a friend I had with at least two chronic conditions which made them housebound basically said the following. They said they mainly just changed their worldview through meditation and mindfulness, and basically just accepted their life as it had turned out. They learnt to find joy in small things, and learnt how to drown themselves in hobbies (had to sacrifice a few due to disability) to block out the frequent suicide ideation they had. I honestly felt pretty bad for them, they had a pretty awful life even before their disabilities. Although thankfully, I do think they are happy and content with the life they have.

I don't think that will be the same for everyone though. I think for people involved in tragic accidents like getting cut in half they'll just be content at surviving.

 

[KillingPain267]

"Every man has his breaking point". Some can endure more than others. Some who required disabilities later might still have the hobby or passion they had before, and family and friends accepting the new them. But some of us born with or even without disabilities were neglected as children, bullied, betrayed, left, traumatized, ignored etc. and this has lead to giving up and finding no reason to continue. Only up to 20% of war veterans get PTSD, but that doesn't mean the 20% are just weak or that war in general is horrible.

 

[Ash]

Everyone gets to decide for themselves if their life is fulfilling and enjoyable and happy. Or not. It's not for you or me or anyone else to make a judgement and say that in their shoes, we'd be miserable/over the moon.

PS the notion that disabled people "must" be miserable is pretty ignorant and bigoted. Maybe one day society will move on from such grotesque and patronising attitudes.

 

[Heavy Rain]

Not as important as many others (not even close)
But I recently lost the ability to play video games for long hours
I get discomfort/pain now from using mouse and keyboard, even controller for extended periods of time
It was quite the hit to my mental health actually
Since I've used gaming to escape reality

 

[sserafim]

also autistic, and I agree. it is beyond difficult to live in a world where everything was designed for people who are..not you.

I also have autism and I've never wanted to live anyways. I find it strange how and why people cling on to life and fight for their lives when I never had any desire to live in the first place. I wonder why people think that their life is a gift and why they're grateful for it. I would've been fine with never existing. In fact, I wish I never existed tbh

 

[tsykoais]

I hate to be that guy but a lot of it is about mindset. I understand that is probably incredibly offensive to some people but it is what I believe in some cases, maybe not all.

this is hate to be that person too but there are 8 billion people in this world and everyone has their own situation. people have different mindsets and handle the struggles in their life whether big or small differently. what one would see as a another reason to end it all is something another person would take as motivation to move forward. the same way op looks at them is probably the same way one would look at us. there is no right or wrong because it's all about perspective.

 

[sserafim]

I don't understand it either. It's absurd. I have autism and I don't want to live. I think that the people who you are referring to are just insane. They can't be right in the head to want to live after going through so much

Just because something is rare doesn't mean that it is good

So true. Also, just because something is long doesn't mean that it is good. The longer something is doesn't make it better. People want to live as long as possible and I don't understand why. They want as much time as possible, but for me, it's the quality of my life that matters, not the quantity of years

 

[tsykoais]

I think that the people who you are referring to are just insane. They can't be right in the head to want to live after going through so much

i mean it's as easy to call them insane just as easy as it is for them to call us insane. you won't understand it because you aren't them and they won't understand you, me, or others on this website because they aren't us. every one is different. what's normal and what's not is just a perspective.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I also have autism and I've never wanted to live anyways. I find it strange how and why people cling on to life and fight for their lives when I never had any desire to live in the first place. I wonder why people think that their life is a gift and why they're grateful for it. I would've been fine with never existing. In fact, I wish I never existed tbh

Same. Most people cling on to life at all costs and I don't understand why. It's so strange to me. Some of these people even suffer through excruciating, extreme pain. I wish I never existed. I never wanted to be a human as I don't want to deal with the things that humans have to deal with.

So true. Also, just because something is long doesn't mean that it is good. The longer something is doesn't make it better. People want to live as long as possible and I don't understand why. They want as much time as possible, but for me, it's the quality of my life that matters, not the quantity of years

This as well. Quality is better than quantity. Aside from money, I can't think of an example where the converse is true.

i mean it's as easy to call them insane just as easy as it is for them to call us insane. you won't understand it because you aren't them and they won't understand you, me, or others on this website because they aren't us. every one is different. what's normal and what's not is just a perspective.

I already know this. I'm on a different wavelength to them which means that, by definition, they're on a different wavelength to me

 

[tsykoais]

I already know this. I'm on a different wavelength to them which means that, by definition, they're on a different wavelength to me

yeah, so just chalking it up to "they're just not right in the head for wanting to live after all they've been through" wouldn't really be a fair/nuanced argument which was the point i was trying to make.

eta: im just trying to give a bit nuance. i can see where you were coming from when you said that because it's foreign to me as well, i'm forced to live in a body in a world that does nothing but torment me.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

What's even more weird to me are the people that are horribly disfigured but still seem to find someone handsome or beautiful that marries and takes care of them. IDK what to believe, maybe they find a way to fetishize it.

 

[Artemisia]

I see a lot of people on social media who are very positive despite having terrible medical conditions and disabilities, and they love their life. This makes me feel like I'm extremely weak mentally because I've got 3 chronic illnesses and I'm now likely to have a 4th which will stop me from doing a hobby which is the only thing I have in my life.
There's a guy on YouTube who got cut in half in an accident and he loves life, wants to live no matter what and says he has no depression and no trauma from that happened to him. I thought that can't be normal, but it seems I might be the one who's not normal by wanting to die because of this.

Tbh I don't get it either, I guess they're not in pain all the time and still get to enjoy things that allow them to go on living. Basically, the good still outweighs the bad.
And let's not forget that's just pro-go-on-living-no-matter-what porn. For every one of those "great" examples, who actually knows how many did end their lives, or wanted to but don't know how or don't have the means to do it, how many are just hermits waiting for their time to come. We're hardly ever shown that side, because of this obsession of going on no matter what.

 

[mistymoo]

I think having money and being scared of the unknown both have a large part to play in this discussion

 

[locked*n*loaded]

What I've always wondered about are these devotely religious people, who believe in an afterlife, usually in Heaven. And then maybe they get sick, say with cancer. Heaven is supposed to be so wonderful, full of peace, no pain.

Yet, when they get sick, they still go through every possible treatment option available to them so that they don't die. It's really never made sense to me. You'd think, at least I do, anyway, that they'd be willingly wanting to get to this place of peace no-holds-barred, being that's it's so great "there" and everything.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

And let's not forget that's just pro-go-on-living-no-matter-what porn. For every one of those "great" examples, who actually knows how many did end their lives, or wanted to but don't know how or don't have the means to do it, how many are just hermits waiting for their time to come. We're hardly ever shown that side, because of this obsession of going on no matter what.

The media tried tp frame Christopher Reeve (Superman) as a hero of perseverance after his accident. I think in the early days he genuinely believed stem cell research could fix his spinal injury but eventually he realized that wouldn't happen in his lifetime. His wife's book painted a different picture, Chris was miserable as a paraplegic. I think I would nearly beg for release, even if smothered with a pillow.