Discussion I don't trust women. Is that okay?

[BornToFail]

Feel like I'd be called on incel for that, however my reasons are not that. I was victimized by women several times in my life sadly. I do not want to have sex with them, I am asexual.

 

[Huntfish34]

I guess that's ok, just expressing your thoughts and feelings. All part of human nature I suppose.

 

[Lostandlooking]

Are you okay with women responding to your thread? I'll not respond if you don't like that.

 

[BornToFail]

Are you okay with women responding to your thread? I'll not respond if you don't like that.

I don't mind. Thank you

 

[Lostandlooking]

Not trusting someone is okay in my opinion. Reasons are always going to be personal. I have my own biases. I don't really trust doctors or therapists. But when someone starts hating people it can become problematic. Especially when the subject of that hate are marginalized people. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe. But I would ask people please do not hate groups of people. If you have some particular bad experiences with people, I'd say: Hate those individuals that hurt you.

Not trusting certain kinds of people may be unhealthy according to some. But it's also a coping mechanism. And it's probably there for a good reason. Wishing you well op.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I'm sorry to hear about what has happened to you. I think it's very common for people in your position to not be as trusting towards certain kinds of people. I don't think it really means you hate them. You don't sound very hateful in your post. I'm wishing you well!

 

[GreyCTB]

Can;t blame you, some girls will lie to you over nothing nowadays. They're also more prone to start a whole bunch of bs over emotional matters in my experience. No offense

 

[hungry_ghost]

To each their own.

Edit: This comment also isn't an endorsement of anti-women sentiments.

I'm pretty much a misandrist at this point.

 

[oneeyed]

They're also more prone to start a whole bunch of bs over emotional matters in my experience. No offense

Did you date my ex too? I don't typically trust anyone, at least not after knowing them for quite some time. Even then, I still don't open up much. As others have said, just don't turn that mistrust into hatred, that doesn't help anyone.

 

[makethepainstop]

Feel like I'd be called on incel for that, however my reasons are not that. I was victimized by women several times in my life sadly. I do not want to have sex with them, I am asexual.

X-FILES 101, "Trust no one."

 

[WhiskeyHands]

Brother, I know you're going through some heartbreak right now. I'm 4 months out of a 3.5 year relationship trust me, I understand your pain. But you can't generalize an entire gender because of a few bad exe's. All of my exe's have done me dirty, but I know the right one is out there man. Keep your head up.

 

[L I F E T O L O S E]

is ok bro,but make an exception sometimes

 

[chocolatebar]

How can you be sure that what you experienced weren't actions based on the will and worldview of specific people, or even tied to the collective thoughts of a particular subculture, but actions related to the fact that those people were women? Could you try thinking more about it?

 

[UtopianElephant]

I don't think trust has much or anything to do with gender / sex. You can be a decent and trustworthy individual of either gender or of transgender.

It's perfectly understandable if one person in a relationship hurt the other, intentionally or unintentionally, but clinging to a biased view like this will not do much more than promote irrationality and sexism.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

They're not all cheaters, liars, and conniving b*tch*s. Some are. I've met more than my fair share, too, over the years. There's nothing wrong with being asexual, either. Usually, true incels take their hatred to an entirely different level, some violently, even. Try not to let it get to that point.

 

[Susannah]

Feel like I'd be called on incel for that, however my reasons are not that. I was victimized by women several times in my life sadly. I do not want to have sex with them, I am asexual.

I don't trust anybody, and that's really sad. I remember when I was young (45y now). I truly believed people were trustworthy. That there's some good in all humans. But no, people don't care...

 

[Huntfish34]

Many people do care, sadly there are Numerous who dont.. You can't just broadcast it all to Every single person around you. Doesn't make any sense .

 

[Pluto]

A pedantic point: asexuality is not a lifestyle choice but an actual sexuality.

I was victimised by females a lot, too. My mother was an emotional robot who lacked maternal instincts. I was the youngest of 3, and my two older sisters ganged up on me with constant belittling and torment. I knew nothing else but being treated in the most dehumanising and demeaning ways possible. I went to an all-boys school so I never got to interact with non-murderous females.

As an adult, I was so low in social confidence that I found it impossible to attract anyone. I learned that confidence in men is approximately equivalent to looks in women, i.e. 85% of what actually matters. I would go into a deep depression upon seeing normal people interacting in the world and knowing I was not one of them. I alternated between escaping into hobbies and humiliating myself with futile attempts at self-improvement and/or 'dating'. I lacked any workaround being average in looks, low in energy and ever-struggling financially due to running an entire household alone and working lowly jobs that drained me.

Some women rejected me politely, citing my lack of masculinity. Others had a cruel bent which was no doubt caused by awful experiences with men themselves. Occasionally a woman would be attracted, only to get freaked out when I expressed confusion at having never been loved and not knowing what to do.

Many years later, I realised that I had become sexually impotent and was subsequently diagnosed with C-PTSD. My sisters responded by covering up that the early childhood abuse - which I now realise actually counts as sexual abuse despite being non-physical - had taken place. It is clear that they will never take responsibility, though have gone on to enjoy productive and positive family lives themselves.

The stress of this situation has slowly deteriorated to the point where there is no reasonable choice for me but to CTB at some point. There is no longer any reasonable sense of hope since I'm 40+. And given that attempting recovery has been so painful with nothing to show for it, it feels like I've been set up to live a whole life based around satisfying the sadistic fantasies of a cruel family.

You're welcome to play the misery olympics with me, but you probably won't meet any man who has been fucked up to this extent by the opposite gender. And yes, in a way, I have a pathological inability to trust women. The lack of confidence leads to a vicious circle.

HOWEVER, there is something to be said for seeing things accurately. Yes, I had a horrible family, but everyone behaved as they did because of preceding events and the prevailing environment. I am glad to have reached this level of maturity before reaching my demise.

Despite the pain of the Berlin Wall that my childhood built between me and the opposite gender, I love women to the point of reverence. It deeply pains me to see the way they are routinely harmed by sexual exploitation, objectification and interactions with predatory men equivalent to my sisters.

I feel endless compassion when I see them suffer, because I feel an underlying connection where we are actually the same thing, struggling with psychological/biological desires in a no-empathy society. At a social level, I wish with all my heart that there was a way to stop the insane cruelty of this endless war between the genders; to reach a point where there is love and care, joy and kindness.

At a personal level, I feel indescribably sad that I could never know what it feels like to be a lover, a protector, a best friend and an uplifting source of joy and empowerment for a woman. But if this has all been a cosmic test of character, I hope that I have passed that test.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Despite the pain of the Berlin Wall that my childhood built between me and the opposite gender, I love women to the point of reverence. It deeply pains me to see the way they are routinely equivalently harmed by sexual exploitation, objectification and interactions with predatory men equivalent to my sisters.

I feel endless compassion when I see them suffer, because I feel an underlying connection where we are actually the same thing, struggling with psychological/biological desires in a no-empathy society. At a social level, I wish with all my heart that there was a way to stop the insane cruelty of this endless war between the genders; to reach a point where there is love and care, joy and kindness.

I think you have written a very beautiful post. I wish I could see what you have written but for men too, as well as other groups of people. Sorry, I didn't mean to butt in the way I did. Everybody is hurting silently.

 

[BornToFail]

is ok bro,but make an exception sometimes

Did that, and didn't work out too well.

 

[releasespieces]

In some ways it really is a problem of physiology isn't it. There are certain natural urges that men can't suppress and women are aware of this. It makes it so men can be easily manipulated. In many ways it's a game of power and control between both sexes. I think either sex can be nasty as hell depending on the situation. I hate certain demographics based on my life experiences and I think that's okay. We live in a violent world that tries to convince us to be peaceful, politically correct and understanding. Everything in nature cries out for ruthlessness yet our governments and religions try to subdue that. My point is that you have to protect your own self interests because no one else will.

 

[blackwidow]

Of course it's OK.. As long as you dont decide to start a mad rampage and kill them all