Venting I don't think there's any hope for my situation

[CrazyDiamond04]

I'm already 21 and I haven't done anything of note. I'm set to graduate college next spring and I don't have anything lined up for after; I can't even drive yet. I'm too incompetent for a real job and I would likely fail at graduate school, assuming I were to even be accepted which is unlikely. If I wasn't such a lazy pussy I would've killed myself years ago but unfortunately I am. To be honest I still don't even have a plan of how I would kill myself. I wish I had a gun, it would make this a lot easier. I think hanging myself is the next best option but I'd have to find a proper ligament to use, I don't think my parents have rope or anything lying around. Sucks to suck I guess.

 

[fedup1982]

Hanging is a nasty way to go. Drying is HARD thanks to governments doing everything they can to stop suicide

 

[Signal]

Sorry to hear that man. You described word for word the kind of situation I'm in, so I know how fucking shitty it feels, we even are the same age. I'll graduate next year but I'm so fucking sick of it all already, I'm sick of university, I'm sick of people, I'm sick of this stupid shit I choose to study, and I'm fucking sick of myself. Every day I see myself in the mirror and fucking despise this thing I have become. I would have killed myself years ago but I'm too much of a coward, so I'll just keep living in this hell.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

Sorry to hear that man. You described word for word the kind of situation I'm in, so I know how fucking shitty it feels, we even are the same age. I'll graduate next year but I'm so fucking sick of it all already, I'm sick of university, I'm sick of people, I'm sick of this stupid shit I choose to study, and I'm fucking sick of myself. Every day I see myself in the mirror and fucking despise this thing I have become. I would have killed myself years ago but I'm too much of a coward, so I'll just keep living in this hell.

I understand what you mean. I'm simply tired of living like this? Why live a life with no hope? I see little reason for it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sounds like you have stuck at college- if you're graduating so- that's a win of sorts. But sure- what comes next is definitely daunting. Do you have any preferences for a career?

After my first degree- which was creative, I spent the next 10 years working mostly part time in retail while I tried to get a career off the ground- with little success. I eventually got so miserable and lost that I decided to go back to uni to retrain in a different field- but still arty. That set me onto a better track in my 30's.

I'm not sure it's ever really 'over' and a 'failure' unless we decide we don't want to bother anymore. Our prospects can look more limited as we age but ultimately- we just have to try and see what's out there. I can understand the reluctance though. The past few years especially have felt like the end of a very long marathon for me. It's got to be shit to be feeling like that at the very start.

 

[Macedonian1987]

Hanging is a nasty way to go. Drying is HARD thanks to governments doing everything they can to stop suicide

They are doing everything they can to stop suicide not because they care for you. They don't care one bit for you. The only thing they care about is losing the workforce that you can provide to the government. Losing the potential $$$ that you can make for them.

All that I can say to the OP is this: You are 21, you are still very young. Give life a chance, things might change for the better. Don't leave too early. Of course at the end of the day the decision is yours, and yours alone.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

Sounds like you have stuck at college- if you're graduating so- that's a win of sorts. But sure- what comes next is definitely daunting. Do you have any preferences for a career?

After my first degree- which was creative, I spent the next 10 years working mostly part time in retail while I tried to get a career off the ground- with little success. I eventually got so miserable and lost that I decided to go back to uni to retrain in a different field- but still arty. That set me onto a better track in my 30's.

I'm not sure it's ever really 'over' and a 'failure' unless we decide we don't want to bother anymore. Our prospects can look more limited as we age but ultimately- we just have to try and see what's out there. I can understand the reluctance though. The past few years especially have felt like the end of a very long marathon for me. It's got to be shit to be feeling like that at the very start.

To be honest I'm not really sure what I would do for a career. I thought about being a teacher or a professor but I think you would need at least a masters for either of those and I don't know if I want to go for a masters. Doesn't help that my major isn't super useful I guess.

 

[sadman1897]

Hang in there , you have an enormous amount of potential ahead of you. Just finish your current degree and figure out your next move . A bachelors degree opens plenty of doors . You can always go back to grad school later down the road . Stay positive

 

[Forever Sleep]

To be honest I'm not really sure what I would do for a career. I thought about being a teacher or a professor but I think you would need at least a masters for either of those and I don't know if I want to go for a masters. Doesn't help that my major isn't super useful I guess.

I imagine it depends what level you would prefer to teach at. Have you talked to any of your tutors about it? Do they have careers advisors at your college? Not that I have total faith in them.