I at first had a plan in my mind. Take my medications. Take a bath. Sleep and not wake up. Simple it sounded but then I started doing more and more research and I'm not sure anymore if my medications would cause the desired effect that I'm looking for
List of medications:
Trazodone 150mg approx 40 pills
Gabapentin 300mg approx 120 pills
Prazosin 2mg approx 30 pills
Benadryl 25mg approx 500 pills
Ativan 1mg approx 30 pills
Seroquel 150mg approx 50 pills
I then started looking into other methods. I do have shibari rope. I'm not sure if that would be the right kind if I decide to go that method. I have to learn how to tie a knot and figure if I want to go full or partied hanging. I don't think I'm a fairly big person. I'm about 5'1 and I used to weigh 150 pounds but I've been basically starving myself for 2 months and don't know what I weigh anymore. So I'm thinking this method would be more ideal over the first idea?
I have access to what I have in my room basically, I do have a bathroom attached to my room as well.
I don't have any other ways of trying because I cannot access anything else. I am fully financially dependent on my husband and we also live in the middle of nowhere so I don't have access to Ubers or anything to go pick something up at the store.
I know this is the decision I've made and truly nobody can change it. I've had notes written for weeks. I've had this thought in mind for weeks. I just gave an inpatient stay a chance before being discharged and realizing it didn't help me. I live with my husband and his mother, both who hate me and have no care about my physical or mental well being. I know realistically I could be unfound for 8-36 hours because of the fact they both don't speak to me and unless I choose to leave my bedroom they don't even physically lay eyes on me or hear me speak. If I were to make an attempt at night on a night my husband works. It would be at least 8-9 hours before my child wakes up for school in which my husbands mother usually does everything because I can't pull myself out of bed. If I don't get myself out of bed to get him up it's rare anyone even comes into my room to check on me or tell me good morning so I know if my door was locked nobody would even check. My child then doesn't come home until approx 9 hours which would make approx 18 hours after an attempt and again, if my door is locked I doubt anyone would notice. This could go on until someone does notice and think it's weird I have not got out of bed but I really don't think anyone would so it could also be days before I am found. Which I feel makes an attempt all more the easier.
List of medications:
Trazodone 150mg approx 40 pills
Gabapentin 300mg approx 120 pills
Prazosin 2mg approx 30 pills
Benadryl 25mg approx 500 pills
Ativan 1mg approx 30 pills
Seroquel 150mg approx 50 pills
I then started looking into other methods. I do have shibari rope. I'm not sure if that would be the right kind if I decide to go that method. I have to learn how to tie a knot and figure if I want to go full or partied hanging. I don't think I'm a fairly big person. I'm about 5'1 and I used to weigh 150 pounds but I've been basically starving myself for 2 months and don't know what I weigh anymore. So I'm thinking this method would be more ideal over the first idea?
I have access to what I have in my room basically, I do have a bathroom attached to my room as well.
I don't have any other ways of trying because I cannot access anything else. I am fully financially dependent on my husband and we also live in the middle of nowhere so I don't have access to Ubers or anything to go pick something up at the store.
I know this is the decision I've made and truly nobody can change it. I've had notes written for weeks. I've had this thought in mind for weeks. I just gave an inpatient stay a chance before being discharged and realizing it didn't help me. I live with my husband and his mother, both who hate me and have no care about my physical or mental well being. I know realistically I could be unfound for 8-36 hours because of the fact they both don't speak to me and unless I choose to leave my bedroom they don't even physically lay eyes on me or hear me speak. If I were to make an attempt at night on a night my husband works. It would be at least 8-9 hours before my child wakes up for school in which my husbands mother usually does everything because I can't pull myself out of bed. If I don't get myself out of bed to get him up it's rare anyone even comes into my room to check on me or tell me good morning so I know if my door was locked nobody would even check. My child then doesn't come home until approx 9 hours which would make approx 18 hours after an attempt and again, if my door is locked I doubt anyone would notice. This could go on until someone does notice and think it's weird I have not got out of bed but I really don't think anyone would so it could also be days before I am found. Which I feel makes an attempt all more the easier.
