Venting I don't think I can get myself to CTB (yet)

[MourningDove]

I feel guilty in a weird kind of way. I will have deep thoughts about CTB, theorizing different methods, reading about it non-stop. I feel a deep depression within me that I can't explain, a sense of hopelessness. I experience it when I look at the world around me, whether it be strangers I see on the street, or if I think about the long, difficult future ahead of me. I can't help but feel as if CTB is the only thing I can control in my life. I know I can resolve current problems, but they'll be followed by even more problems. I think about my family, my friends, and everything I would leave behind, and those immediately shut down my CTB thoughts. Is it weird to feel sad about not being able to CTB? Should I not be here if I can't get myself to CTB? How long is too long? I feel lost and I've been scared to bring it up anywhere.

Thank You, will keep people updated

 

[skies]

there is no such thing as too long, if you're having doubts or things that make you not want to ctb, then you should listen to your guts and avoid it

i hope you can find happiness & please dont have shame for having those feelings

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

I think that many people on Sanctioned Suicide have difficulty overcoming the fear of death and the survival instinct. That is partly why they there are here. It is difficult to die without doctor´s help. We should all have the right to euthanasia. But that is not possible in the society of today. Some people will die of natural causes even if they want to shorten their lives because of the strong survival instinct. I hope that I am not one of those people. I have suffered enough. I do not want to die from old age. I hope that I will find the courage to die consciously. People who have succeeded in suicide have probably prepared for a long time and may have several failed attemtps behind them. I want to die at full moon and the moon shines beautifully in the sky today. I wish you all the best.

 

[MourningDove]

I think that many people on Sanctioned Suicide have difficulty overcoming the fear of death and the survival instinct. That is partly why they there are here. It is difficult to die without doctor´s help. We should all have the right to euthanasia. But that is not possible in the society of today. Some people will die of natural causes even if they want to shorten their lives because of the strong survival instinct. I hope that I am not one of those people. I have suffered enough. I do not want to die from old age. I hope that I will find the courage to die consciously. People who have succeeded in suicide have probably prepared for a long time and may have several failed attemtps behind them. I want to die at full moon and the moon shines beautifully in the sky today. I wish you all the best.

thank you, this comforted me greatly :]