Venting I don't know what to do anymore

[lonelyy]

2 of my 4 friends are online friends. I am lying to them abt my gender and another important thing, I constantly feel bad and guilty for lying to them but if I told them the truth they would probably leave me and my other friend who is doing the same thing with the same lies. I want to continue having them as my friends since they are very important to me and helped me a lot. I don't know what to do abt it and the friendship has been for serval months, I don't know exactly how long but I know it's been for more than 5 months. Me, the two online friends mentioned, and my friend who is also lying are all a part of a 4 person group and we all get along so well yet if I revealed the truth it would all fall apart along with my main source of happiness. I know that eventually, the friendship will end up crumbling and my life will go back to a mix of loneliness and frustration. I probably won't be able to keep on going without the group. I still just feel so bad for it since they are great people. I hate myself for it and I don't know what to do, any advice? Also sorry if this made no sense

 

[Sluggish_Slump]

Are you sure they will leave you if they discover you lied to them about your gender and that other thing ? (idk it would'nt bother me personally). Maybe if you would explain it and apologize for lying, they would accept you. But if you're completely sure that they will leave you if you admit the truth, then I think that it's better if you keep it a secret, to keep them as your friends. Even between friends , it's fine to sometimes keep some secrets to yourself, if it doesn't hurt anyone not knowing.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm just curious, but what was the impetus that you even needed to lie to them about your gender in the first place?

 

[lonelyy]

I'm just curious, but what was the impetus that you even needed to lie to them about your gender in the first place?

I generally present myself on the internet as a male when I'm not (won't specify). I didn't really meet them and say "I'm a boy" I just presented myself as male and I refer to myself as he/him and so does my friend also refers to me that way, it just sort of built up and I never thought to tell them the truth

Are you sure they will leave you if they discover you lied to them about your gender and that other thing ? (idk it would'nt bother me personally). Maybe if you would explain it and apologize for lying, they would accept you. But if you're completely sure that they will leave you if you admit the truth, then I think that it's better if you keep it a secret, to keep them as your friends. Even between friends , it's fine to sometimes keep some secrets to yourself, if it doesn't hurt anyone not knowing.

thanks for the advice, i really appreciate it