I don’t have much of a will left

[bl33ding_heart]

I am just so exhausted. My bpd won't stop torturing me everyday, and I feel like I'm seriously at a breaking point. I can't take any more of this or I will do something irreversible to myself.

I don't understand how people can live well into their late twenties while having this disorder. I'm only 18 and very close to giving up. If I don't kill my self any time soon I know I most likely certainly will at some point within these next few years.

Almost every single older person I know with bpd is a drug addict. This disorder is impossible to cope with without frying your mind with drugs, and even then it is still unbearable.

It really feels like someone is clenching onto my heart and crushing it to smithereens. I genuinely don't know what I could of done to deserve this mental epitome of hell. I certainly must of upset god or some external force to be cursed with such an unbearable and unlivable disorder.

I am crying my eyes out while writing this. I beg god or any metaphysical being out there to be kind enough to ease my pain. Because I don't have any fight left in me.

 

[Kanau_Nano]

I see your posts a lot and you're obviously struggling so hard it hurts to see. I really hope something eases your pain you deserve it. When i see your posts to others you're so sweet i appreciate you

 

[Hotsackage]

go for a short walk, get some air. it will help a bit

 

[daruino]

Hugs from fellow person with bpd. This illness is indeed so debilitating and the statistics don't give much hope. But I also understand them as they are just trying to cope.

It really feels like someone is clenching onto my heart and crushing it to smithereens. I genuinely don't know what I could of done to deserve this mental epitome of hell. I certainly must of upset god or some external force to be cursed with such an unbearable and unlivable disorder.

I really want to give you a hug as this is so crushingly recognizable my heart always hurts and I feel this empty endless void of suicidal hell. It is so difficult and it really makes you wonder why we have to deal with this because it's so unbearable. I'm sorry you are crying and suffering so much . I wish you well and hopefully it may soon feel less intense- though I know it can feel completely like darkness and no way out right now. When I feel really bad and can't think about anything else but suicide for example it helps me to write about how I feel and what I think- so the thoughts don't endlessly spiral in my head. Perhaps that can give you some relief too. If you ever need someone to talk to you can also hit me up. Best wishes in any case

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Hugs from fellow person with bpd. This illness is indeed so debilitating and the statistics don't give much hope. But I also understand them as they are just trying to cope.


I really want to give you a hug as this is so crushingly recognizable my heart always hurts and I feel this empty endless void of suicidal hell. It is so difficult and it really makes you wonder why we have to deal with this because it's so unbearable. I'm sorry you are crying and suffering so much . I wish you well and hopefully it may soon feel less intense- though I know it can feel completely like darkness and no way out right now. When I feel really bad and can't think about anything else but suicide for example it helps me to write about how I feel and what I think- so the thoughts don't endlessly spiral in my head. Perhaps that can give you some relief too. If you ever need someone to talk to you can also hit me up. Best wishes in any case

Thank you so much.

It genuinely saddens me when I see other people also suffering with this disorder. Because I know how hellish it is and I could never wish it upon anyone.

 

[daruino]

Thank you so much.

It genuinely saddens me when I see other people also suffering with this disorder. Because I know how hellish it is and I could never wish it upon anyone.

Yes, I had the same reading your post. I think it can only really be understood by others suffering the same disorder though unfortunately.

 

[CloudyRue]

Unfortunately, there are few who understand

 

[peacebenow]

Oh sweetie, I send you a hug and as much comfort as possible. There is breath and air. Can you find it? One tiny breath in and one tiny breath out. Can you have a cup of tea. Any little soothing comfort to your senses. You are so young and in such suffering. You do have strength inside of you even though at this moment you are unable to see it. There is light there.

 

[SASU-KE]

Brutal situation at such a young age. It's going to be very tough. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. It's going to get much tougher.

But be even tougher.

We'll be here for you as well.

Cope and deal with it however else you need to, but try not to turn to drugs and alcohol. They only make things worse.