I don't feel like myself, I feel like I'm surviving not living. I don't feel like I have any control over what I do, I just do it. I've always wanted to die, but I wanted it to be my choice and I feel like if I CTB right now it wouldn't be me choosing to die, it'd be some impulsive act forcing me to do it, without being able to stop myself, and that scares me a lot. But at the same time I really do wish I was just dead.
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landslide2
Student
- May 6, 2024
- 125
I know this burden, this feeling of surviving rather than what most describe as just living life. Many of us on here do. Let it out and please don't do anything impulsively.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 35,390
I'm sorry you have to suffer like that, existence really is too cruel. But anyway I wish you the best.
