Many of us here aren't going to kill ourselves within days, months or in some cases even years. You're not alone. Heck I'm sure there are members who may end up never ctb and just die of natural causes / old age. And that's perfectly fine, doesn't make you a coward or hypocrite or whatever.
This place isn't trying to push/encourage people towards committing suicide as some pro-lifers would like to think. We are just okay with people who DO decide (of their own) to ctb, instead of trying to rescue them against their will, like some knight in armor.
As long as you're ok to hang out with a bunch of depressed and/or suicidal folks, and are pro-choice, you are one of us.