Story I don't consider myself human. Do you?

[SuicidalCurryBoy]

My oldest memory is an embarrassing one. I don't feel comfortable talking about it. But this memory, which I will mark as Memory 0, was not one I thought about for ages. Except when someone asked me what my oldest memory was. I told them that. That was the first and only time, till then that I thought about this memory.

A few years ago, a friend and I were talking about out of body experiences. Either a lot of people have had the same hallucination, a lot of people were making the same things up, or a lot of people were genuinely having them. My friend said that he used to see hallucinations when he was a kid. And apparently they're common in young children, cuz the brain is still developing. I told him that I've never had an Out Of Body Experience(Which I will call OOBE from here on) and the closest thing I've had to one was this:

This happened right before memory 0. I will call this memory -1.

In this memory, I was was outside the body. But it wasn't just that, I had simply popped into existence, from somewhere else. And I saw the child me. I floated towards him. And I remembering 'possessing' this body, like in a video game. And then memory 0 happened. And I remember my mentally handicapped brother telling either our maid, or my mother about the embarrassing thing I had done...

And this is where things get even weird.

I felt confused. Like I should know what to do, but I had forgotten. And I got the same feeling I'd get when I'd load up a video game after ages, and I don't remember the controls. I remember our maid or my mother telling my mentally handicapped brother that I'm still small, and that I don't know anything. And then it gets weirder...

I remember a thought/voice, telling my "don't speak, you're still too young to speak." Different people think in different ways, which is something we learned differently. I think in detailed prose. Some people think in pictures. Others think in numbers, shapes, and abstract concepts. And others are downright NPCs... And when this voice said it... I call it a voice, despite it being my thoughts... because it felt like an outsider... and it felt like a warning. Like 'act dumb, you don't wanna get caught.'.

And for a long time, I felt like there was someone 'outside' of reality...

idk why... and I felt like I was receiving instructions on how to behave... compulsions and so on. Like I was a shapeshifter, or someone merely borrowing and possessing this body...

It went away after I went to England... I think around this time, the mind and the body merged...

As I told my friend that story... I sorta had an awakening like 'HOLY SHIT! I WAS OUTSIDE THE BODY!'

Like, an outside exists...

And now I want to go outside. That's among other things, one of the reasons I wanna kms...

 

[DeusVult]

That's quite an interesting experience. This world, this existence, it's weird as fuck. None of us know what is really going on or how we got here...or what were doing here.

 

[badatparties]

That's quite an interesting experience. This world, this existence, it's weird as fuck. None of us know what is really going on or how we got here...or what were doing here.

This

 

[Alan James]

Out-of-body experiences are completely real, and everything described, for example, in Robert Monroe's books is true. Out-of-body experiences were widely practiced in CIA and US Army projects such as Stargate and Montauk. Numerous documents related to the Stargate project have been declassified; they can be read on the CIA website:

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/collection/stargate?page=1

Many different sources and people (including many scientists) say that there are serious reasons to believe that we live in a simulation. And in the documents on the Stargate Project, for example, it is written that they found out as a 100% fact that this physical world is a simulation, a hologram (there in the documents for 1983 the word "hologram" and holographic universe). These are not just hypotheses, theories - they describe the practical use of the fact that we live in a simulation that is similar to a some kind VR video game.

Secret US Army study hints we're living in a holographic universe

The universe - according to an infamous 1983 US Army Intelligence study - is, 'one gigantic hologram of unbelievable complexity.'

www.dailymail.co.uk

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5.pdf

There they (and many other very different people around the world) discovered that this physical world is like a farm for collecting emotional energy, which Robert Monroe called "loosh". And many different people learned through out-of-body experiences, near-death experiences and other methods that life after death and reincarnation 100% exist and there is no doubt about it. But the problem is that it seems that this is really something like a prison planet: a simulation in which we (being immortal consciousness) are locked in physical bodies (to which this immortal consciousness is connected as avatars, drones) with the main purpose of being resources from which energy (loosh) is pumped out.

 

[Terrible_Life]

Out-of-body experiences are completely real, and everything described, for example, in Robert Monroe's books is true. Out-of-body experiences were widely practiced in CIA and US Army projects such as Stargate and Montauk. Numerous documents related to the Stargate project have been declassified; they can be read on the CIA website:

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/collection/stargate?page=1

Many different sources and people (including many scientists) say that there are serious reasons to believe that we live in a simulation. And in the documents on the Stargate Project, for example, it is written that they found out as a 100% fact that this physical world is a simulation, a hologram (there in the documents for 1983 the word "hologram" and holographic universe). These are not just hypotheses, theories - they describe the practical use of the fact that we live in a simulation that is similar to a some kind VR video game.

Secret US Army study hints we're living in a holographic universe

The universe - according to an infamous 1983 US Army Intelligence study - is, 'one gigantic hologram of unbelievable complexity.'

www.dailymail.co.uk

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5.pdf

There they (and many other very different people around the world) discovered that this physical world is like a farm for collecting emotional energy, which Robert Monroe called "loosh". And many different people learned through out-of-body experiences, near-death experiences and other methods that life after death and reincarnation 100% exist and there is no doubt about it. But the problem is that it seems that this is really something like a prison planet: a simulation in which we (being immortal consciousness) are locked in physical bodies (to which this immortal consciousness is connected as avatars, drones) with the main purpose of being resources from which energy (loosh) is pumped out.

if all of that is true then what might happen after we die?
Whenever I think about the simulation theory all I can think about is that this means when we die the simulation ends for us we go back to our actual place that would mean for me in my case I should be happy and excited to ctb but Unfortunately nobody knows 100% what will happen after we die at least the public don't know it the average person don't know it maybe the cia and other organizations know much more maybe they studied this topic who knows

 

[insectontrial]

I personally find it easier to believe I am not human. If I am merely a parasite it makes sense why people avoid me. And I should make the effort to avoid them, too, so I don't infect them.

I also find taking promethazine in very high doses helps me to dissociate and switch off some of the sensory input that affects me on a day-to-day basis. I quite like that feeling of observing the world from a distance or from a glass box. Plus, insects are often kept in such containers, so the analogy makes sense to me.