I deserve death

[Squiddy]

So I just found out that I got a D on my biology paper and a D- in the course and now I have to retake the class in order to be able to transfer to a 4 year university, but my mom said she won't help me pay again for the course and I'm broke so looks like I won't be able to transfer. The one thing I'm good at (college) I fuck up. This makes me want to ctb even more

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

You deserve an H for Happiness. Let's not diminish the seriousness of CTB by a mark on a piece of paper or some admonishment by your mom. Right now is the time to evaluate what you could have done better, not the time to hate yourself or your life. As much as we hate getting bad marks, they actually help us perform better in the long run by making us study harder. These are little life lessons, not the end of life cues. *hugs*

 

[imstillhungry]

Grades mean nothing, take it from someone who's been out of school for almost a decade. There's always financial help for students in your position. Have you spoken to a guidance counsellor, or equivalent, at your school? Grades aren't worth killing yourself over. I got D's, F's and even G's in school (it was a very tough period in my life...), and still managed to get into my dream course at uni. You'll be fine

 

[Manja]

Agree

 

[socrates]

No one deserves to die. If you chose to CTB it should be on your terms, not because you don't deserve life, rather you deserve the right to choose, which in my mind is the vary definition of life.
Also don't beat yourself up over this, biology can be hard, and there is so much that can effect your performance in school. Don't let your grades define you. Cs get degrees, I don't know how you will get the money to retake the test. Maybe if you tell your teacher they will be able to help you somehow.

 

[Rohit]

So I just found out that I got a D on my biology paper and a D- in the course and now I have to retake the class in order to be able to transfer to a 4 year university, but my mom said she won't help me pay again for the course and I'm broke so looks like I won't be able to transfer. The one thing I'm good at (college) I fuck up. This makes me want to ctb even more

My friend, I don't know about your health condition or the main reason for you thinking about ctb . But grades are not everything in life. May be you can work and may be in future you can fund yourself in future for your college ....

Think again . Grades and education is important but not everything. Sorry if I offend you in any way

 

[sleepy dog]

You deserve an H for Happiness. Let's not diminish the seriousness of CTB by a mark on a piece of paper or some admonishment by your mom. Right now is the time to evaluate what you could have done better, not the time to hate yourself or your life. As much as we hate getting bad marks, they actually help us perform better in the long run by making us study harder. These are little life lessons, not the end of life cues. *hugs*

ThingWithFeathers, please take yourself and your attitude against suicide somewhere else. You are not welcome on this website. I read thru every post you made on this site. You constantly try to make people think that suicide is the wrong thing to do. You even make up lies to do that. Stop thinking you are "counseling" anybody. Your advice is self important and nothing but ignorant pop psychology. Go away. You have been identified as a pro lifer now. Goodbye.

 

[Mizzmini45]

grades mean NOTHING. Please I use to be obbessed with school till I found out it was all a business.

 

[fightingsioux]

ThingWithFeathers, please take yourself and your attitude against suicide somewhere else. You are not welcome on this website. I read thru every post you made on this site. You constantly try to make people think that suicide is the wrong thing to do. You even make up lies to do that. Stop thinking you are "counseling" anybody. Your advice is self important and nothing but ignorant pop psychology. Go away. You have been identified as a pro lifer now. Goodbye.

Nah, that's not it. An 18 or 19 year-old says that he's going to kill himself because of a D in Biology, and you want her to say, "Go for it"? She's 100% correct in what she's saying.

And unless I'm wrong, you don't get to say who or what someone is and if they're welcome or not.

 

[Hank]

So I just found out that I got a D on my biology paper and a D- in the course and now I have to retake the class in order to be able to transfer to a 4 year university, but my mom said she won't help me pay again for the course and I'm broke so looks like I won't be able to transfer. The one thing I'm good at (college) I fuck up. This makes me want to ctb even more

That is really no reason to ctb. You have time to correct and make up for it. many ppl make mistakes when they are young. Learn from your mistakes. look at the advise from @imstillhungry and @ThingWithFeathers . Give it your all at the next opportunity.

 

[fightingsioux]

So I just found out that I got a D on my biology paper and a D- in the course and now I have to retake the class in order to be able to transfer to a 4 year university, but my mom said she won't help me pay again for the course and I'm broke so looks like I won't be able to transfer. The one thing I'm good at (college) I fuck up. This makes me want to ctb even more

I was a total fuck-up in high school and college, managed to stay with it and barely graduate, became an artist and a teacher and had a good life.

I'm sure that you're normally a good student. Everyone gets a poor grade now and then. Stick with it; that degree will be important in your life.

Tell your mom that you messed up. Ask her to lend you the money and that you'll pay it back in installments (payments). Then get a part-time job--if you don't already have one--and do it!

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I wish I were you. I remember when I worried about my marks but I was healthy. Now that I'm in pain everyday I don't worry about my marks anymore.

 

[WilliamKline]

I've been really hesitant in writing this post, but it's heartfelt so I'll go for it. I do not want to make light of the suffering you are going through. A D at biology sucks and I'm sure there's more going on. I feel for you, I was incredibly depressed and suicidal when I was 17-18.

I'm now just about twice that age and since that time, there have been times the sun has shone for me and I wouldn't want to have missed those times.

Have made trips to beautiful cities and countries, have been with a number of beautiful women, have made some great friends. And you know what, there's more chances. And even if you don't get into college there are ways to be succesful and have a life.

That you end up in a place (like I have since I'm on here) doesn't necessarily mean there hasn't been any value in the journey.

 

[fightingsioux]

I've been really hesitant in writing this post, but it's heartfelt so I'll go for it. I do not want to make light of the suffering you are going through. A D at biology sucks and I'm sure there's more going on. I feel for you, I was incredibly depressed and suicidal when I was 17-18.

I'm now just about twice that age and since that time, there have been times the sun has shone for me and I wouldn't want to have missed those times.

Have made trips to beautiful cities and countries, have been with a number of beautiful women, have made some great friends. And you know what, there's more chances. And even if you don't get into college there are ways to be succesful and have a life.

Exactly, well-said.

Many times in the past month or two I've wanted to make comments like yours to posts like that of the OP. Usually I don't, because there are so many very young posters on this site who feel that suicide is the only answer to situations--sometimes serious situations--like the OP's. They like to trash you.

I'm as far from a pro-lifer as one can get; have been an active advocate for assisted dying for many decades, and feel that any sane adult has the right to control their own life--whether I agree with it or not!

But sometimes you've just got to use your common sense!

Again, good post, you spoke for both of us and--I would guess--many others.

 

[sleepy dog]

Nah, that's not it. An 18 or 19 year-old says that he's going to kill himself because of a D in Biology, and you want her to say, "Go for it"? She's 100% correct in what she's saying.

And unless I'm wrong, you don't get to say who or what someone is and if they're welcome or not.

You state "An 18 or 19 year-old says", her profile says she is 21. Get your facts right.

"you want her to say, "Go for it"?"
Show me in any post where I tell anybody to "Go for it" or similar. If you can't then apologize for lying about me. You are imagining things.

"you don't get to say who or what someone is and if they're welcome or not"
They said what they were when they posted what they posted since they became a member. Constantly saying don't do it is pro life. Anybody that reads their posts will see they are a pro lifer. And I also said what they are, I don't need your permission. I also said they are not welcome, because they are not welcome. They can go away and won't be missed.

"you don't get to say who or what someone is and if they're welcome or not"
Apply your own logic to your own post. YOU don't get to choose what I say, or silence it by lying about me or trying to harass me into silence.

 

[fightingsioux]

You state "An 18 or 19 year-old says", her profile says she is 21. Get your facts right.

Show me in any post where I tell anybody to "Go for it" or similar. If you can't then apologize for lying about me.

"you don't get to say who or what someone is and if they're welcome or not"
They said what they were when they posted what they posted since they became a member. Constantly saying don't do it is pro life. Anybody that reads their posts will see they are a pro lifer. And I also said what they are, I don't need your permission. I also said they are not welcome, because they are not welcome. They can go away and won't be missed.

"you don't get to say who or what someone is and if they're welcome or not"
Apply your own logic to your own post. YOU don't get to choose what I say, or silence it by lying about me or trying to harass me into silence.

You seem to like to label people.

You seem angry.

Say what you want, but stop telling people who you don't agree with to leave.

 

[I’vehadenough]

So I just found out that I got a D on my biology paper and a D- in the course and now I have to retake the class in order to be able to transfer to a 4 year university, but my mom said she won't help me pay again for the course and I'm broke so looks like I won't be able to transfer. The one thing I'm good at (college) I fuck up. This makes me want to ctb even more

You should file as independent from your parents so you can get government grants to take the class for free

 

[Sweet emotion]

So I just found out that I got a D on my biology paper and a D- in the course and now I have to retake the class in order to be able to transfer to a 4 year university, but my mom said she won't help me pay again for the course and I'm broke so looks like I won't be able to transfer. The one thing I'm good at (college) I fuck up. This makes me want to ctb even more

Sweetheart you don't deserve death for getting bad grades in school. Please believe me you don't. People that deserve death are those that bring immense misery to others like rapists, murderers, child molester, people who abuse animals...those are the kinds of people who deserve death. But death would be too good for them. They deserve torture. But you, I've read your posts before and you're a kind hearted person. You don't have to be perfect. No one is. I hope you can work on your self worth and realize that you are so much more than a few bad grades or grades at all. Think about all the wonderful qualities you possess. You don't deserve death. No one I've met on here does. We are all good people. Love yourself.

I wish I were you. I remember when I worried about my marks but I was healthy. Now that I'm in pain everyday I don't worry about my marks anymore.

I'm so sorry you're in physical pain. I completely understand. It's an awful way to exist because I don't call what I'm doing living. 14 years of Complex regional pain syndrome which is the highest ranking pain condition in medical history. What kind of pain do you have?

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

What kind of pain do you have

Back pain

 

[Squiddy]

I wish I were you. I remember when I worried about my marks but I was healthy. Now that I'm in pain everyday I don't worry about my marks anymore.

My grade isn't the only reason I want to ctb. Other reasons include mental illness, brain fog and feeling incompetent

 

[dioxide]

Ah pal!

Success and education do not always go together, and in late years.. at all.

Without mention many of the most successiful people of the planet, that never crossed a door of a college, just look me:

Graduated and bachelor in science and engineering, and i am mostly broke.
My sister's husband, is an hydraulic plumber, never went to school: Lives and in a 10 rooms cottage and drive a Mercedes GLC 250.

 

[TowerUpright]

I wish some if y'all would focus on the OP issue and not quibble between one another.
Although I'm guilty of it, try not to hijack a thread to make a point not specifically asked by the OP.

And, please, someone call me out on it, if I don't in the future. People, not opinions, first.

 

[Jean4]

You don't deserve to die. Who doesn't have issues? We love you just the way you are.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

I'm so sorry Squiddy that must be such a knock to your confidence. What do you want to do at university?

It doesn't mean you can't ever go, and it most certainly doesn't mean you cant be happy. It just means a change of plans is all.

 

[LittleJem]

You state "An 18 or 19 year-old says", her profile says she is 21. Get your facts right.

"you want her to say, "Go for it"?"
Show me in any post where I tell anybody to "Go for it" or similar. If you can't then apologize for lying about me. You are imagining things.

"you don't get to say who or what someone is and if they're welcome or not"
They said what they were when they posted what they posted since they became a member. Constantly saying don't do it is pro life. Anybody that reads their posts will see they are a pro lifer. And I also said what they are, I don't need your permission. I also said they are not welcome, because they are not welcome. They can go away and won't be missed.

"you don't get to say who or what someone is and if they're welcome or not"
Apply your own logic to your own post. YOU don't get to choose what I say, or silence it by lying about me or trying to harass me into silence.

there is definitely a pro-lifer on here - I just saw one on another post, and it was really jarring when someone was sharing their pain and their desire to CTB.

I did the same thing for the two weeks an anti-depressant was working for me - I got all chirpy and was begging someone suicidal to give life a chance. Then my depression came back again, and all I could do was apologise for being so patronising.

We need a safe space where our desire to CTB will be respected and not patronised or pro-lifed.

I do agree that at a young age, bad grades are not a good reason to CTB and it is worth giving life more of a chance, however.

But pro lifers as a rule on this site are not what this site is for, where we come for support and understanding.

 

[Jean4]

there is definitely a pro-lifer on here - I just saw one on another post, and it was really jarring when someone was sharing their pain and their desire to CTB.

I did the same thing for the two weeks an anti-depressant was working for me - I got all chirpy and was begging someone suicidal to give life a chance. Then my depression came back again, and all I could do was apologise for being so patronising.

We need a safe space where our desire to CTB will be respected and not patronised or pro-lifed.

I do agree that at a young age, bad grades are not a good reason to CTB and it is worth giving life more of a chance, however.

But pro lifers as a rule on this site are not what this site is for, where we come for support and understanding.

Thank you for this. I am glad the pro lifers have no lives and nothing else to do that they have enough time to bother us.

 

[LittleJem]

Thank you for this. I am glad the pro lifers have no lives and nothing else to do that they have enough time to bother us.

Love your Jim Morrison quote. I was just recently (very depressed) in Paris - but I do still love Paris, and I was thinking of Jim Morrison and how he ended his life there - and how it was such a great location for him to be at the end of his life. I've read his biography, and the man did so much LSD I don't know how he lasted that long...

 

[Squiddy]

I'm so sorry Squiddy that must be such a knock to your confidence. What do you want to do at university?

It doesn't mean you can't ever go, and it most certainly doesn't mean you cant be happy. It just means a change of plans is all.

I want to do computer science

 

[Jean4]

I want to do computer science

That's great! So why don't you? It took me many tries to pass my test to become a social worker. I just never gave up. I know you can do it.

Remember. Nobody is perfect. We all fail. The question is how do you handle it. Do you keep going and try and try again until you get it correct, or do you give up.

I have faith in you. You aren't the type to give up. You are a fighter who will keep trying until they get it right. :)

 

[Squiddy]

That's great! So why don't you? It took me many tries to pass my test to become a social worker. I just never gave up. I know you can do it.

Remember. Nobody is perfect. We all fail. The question is how do you handle it. Do you keep going and try and try again until you get it correct, or do you give up.

I have faith in you. You aren't the type to give up. You are a fighter who will keep trying until they get it right. :)

I have to wait a little bit to save up money for my last 2 years of university