I lost everything because of mental illness one yr ago. it hurts so bad that everyone has abandoned me. I'm staying with a friend I met at the psych hospital since we got out because being home brings too many memories and I scream and cry in agony. I've attempted to partial hang myself twice and it didn't work. it hurt my neck too much obviously i was doing it wrong. but everytime I told anyone about feeling suicidal they called police on me and take me to different crisis centres and hospitals only to leave unready telling them im still suicidal and I come out and the pain seems worse than before. I hate that ppl tell me I'm selfish and im going to hurt ppl. but nobody calls me. nobody sees me. its all online words that they think somehow are helping. I've lost my bestfriend and partner of 13 yrs. I've lost my entire family. its all my fault. all because I was sick(bpd and ptsd) and still am sick but in a different way.
thank you to those who read this far. i felt relief finding this site when searching up how to ctb with helium. but disappointed that its likely I'll end up with tanks that have oxygen in them because they are all for balloons and would not work. :( so I'm going to ctb with sn now that i learned from here where to get some in my Country. but waiting till i get some money is agonizing. then i have to wait for it to arrive.
it hurts so bad i just want this pain to end.
thank you to those who read this far. i felt relief finding this site when searching up how to ctb with helium. but disappointed that its likely I'll end up with tanks that have oxygen in them because they are all for balloons and would not work. :( so I'm going to ctb with sn now that i learned from here where to get some in my Country. but waiting till i get some money is agonizing. then i have to wait for it to arrive.
it hurts so bad i just want this pain to end.
