NSFW I consider to go to an escort (or brothel) - any advices and tips?

[noname223]

I am flip flopping on ordering SN now. I am on the edge of suicide. I bought me stuff online and I don't give a fuck about it.

I have roundabout 15 k on my bank account. There is one thing left on my bucket list. Having a partner/having sex.
I consider to go to an escort. It is the last thing that could save me from suicide or at least postpone it. I mean otherwise I might kill myself in the next weeks or months. Getting a partner is almost impossible with this illness. I miss intimacy a lot. Being touched. I am severely touch depraved.

I live in the same house as my mom. I don't want that she knows it. But why actually? I am adult and can do what I want. I don't have a car so the only thing that is left is a hotel. That gonna be pretty expensive. There seems to be a brothel where I live...but it only opens in the evening. I don't know which excuse I could have...with some fantasy it could work.

 

[GoSan1]

I am flip flopping on ordering SN now. I bought me stuff online and I don't give a fuck about it.

I have roundabout 15 k on my bank account. There is one thing left on my bucket list. Having a partner/having sex.
I consider to go to an escort. It is the last thing that could save me from suicide or at least postpone it. I mean otherwise I might kill myself in the next weeks or months. Getting a partner is almost impossible with this illness. I miss intimacy a lot. Being touched. I am severely touch depraved.

I live in the same house as my mom. I don't want that she knows it. But why actually? I am adult and can do what I want. I don't have a car so the only thing that is left is a hotel. That gonna be pretty expensive. There seems to be a brothel where I live...but it only opens in the evening. I don't know which excuse I could have...with some fantasy it could work.

Coming from a virgin, I want to die a virgin, it gives me the idea of dying pure in a world full of lust. Of course, I'm far from pure, the number of times porn took hold of hold of me, can't even count, but still... Maybe you too can see it that way? But I'm not trying to change your mind, by all means! Just want to give you another perspective on this.

Now I do not know much about it, but I have seen websites for escorts, where you enter your details and can even make up your lie there. So you most likely don't even have to make up a story or anything, it is a Job after all and the money is what is paid for it. I would recommend a hotel, much cleaner and no one gives af as long as you're not too loud. A brothel could work too, or maybe an Airbnb?

Either way, I hope that your life turns around and that maybe you do find that special someone... I am glad to be dying a Virgin because if there is a heaven for me, I could give her that at least...

 

[daley]

Going to an escort is fine.

What about renting somebody just to cuddle: https://cuddlers.net/en/ .
This could be a bit less stressful than having sex for the first time.
Probably less expensive as well.

I am not a virgin. On the other hand I cannot say that I am "experienced".
However, I think sex is overrated, awkward, and a bit boring.
Don't keep your hopes too high.

I wish you the best @noname223 .

 

[noname223]

My new therapist be like: maybe learning how to play a music instrument will solve your problems

Me: Bitch it ain't that I have a better idea.

 

[Ironborn]

If you want to see an escort do it, I've been seeing them for a long time seeing some of them regularly for years.
Be polite, be punctual, don't waste their time, be clean and hygienic, be honest about what you are looking for, most girls are very accomodating to tastes. Honestly you are far less likely to catch something from a girl who works in this industry than a random one night stand.

 

[KillingPain267]

Sex is highly overrated

 

[Warlord's Pulse]

Going to an escort is fine.

What about renting somebody just to cuddle: https://cuddlers.net/en/ .
This could be a bit less stressful than having sex for the first time.
Probably less expensive as well.

I am not a virgin. On the other hand I cannot say that I am "experienced".
However, I think sex is overrated, awkward, and a bit boring.
Don't keep your hopes too high.

I wish you the best @noname223 .

It's extremely tiresome, too
Both before and during the act

 

[noname223]

It is so ironic that OP once posted the following thread.

Do you think it is true that many lonely men actually don't crave for sexual adventures and instead only want to be loved/getting true affection?

I think I read a joke a long time ago in this forum. It was like: Women try to be very attractive and want to prove their crush that they could fulfil him all the secret sexual desires he ever envisioned. That with her everything and more was possible. (The wording was completely different but...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Such a fucking hypocrite. What a motherfucker...

To be serious looking death into its eyes changes you. For better or worse.

The woman I dated hugged me quite some times. So I have achieved that. It felt really good but it is not something that would keep me alive.
I am really not sure whether I actually will like sex. But it is certainly something I want to experience before I kill myself. Which could be in the next months. I give it a shot probably. The worst can happen is I get robbed/scammed. my organs get sold, I get an STD and she ends up being pregnant.
So it seems to be a safe bet.

I still cling to the fact partnership is more important than sex for me. But I am really curious about it. The woman that I dated told me she is not very interested in sexuality which was a big downer for me. She sounded a little bit asexual.

 

[noname223]

Honestly, do I really want to sink that low? Why not killing myself with some dignity left? I really don't kow. I have the feeling I would not get hard being that nervous...

 

[noname223]

Is it a red flag when a sex worker offers sex without protection?
I showed one of my closest friends a screenshot because I became paranoid towards her. And she offered me sex with her without condom for 250 Euros. He told me that's a huge red flag. He is right this could easily get you an STD. Maybe I should look for someone else.

What do you think?

 

[chaosdrifter]

as a sexworker (FSSW), i highly approve that. i see nothing wrong in hiring a sex worker, be it for general intimacy, physical touch, talking about problems (or not and just having a good time), getting to know other parts of yourself, exploring sex, ...
i would NOT see a sexworker that offers sex without protection (if they offer it to you, they offer it to anyone, meaning they have a high risk profile).
i can't give you advice on what is the best option in your situation (brothel or seeing an escort at her place/a hotel) because I don't know the circumstances of sex work where you live, but if you have 15k in your bank account and are suicidal anyways, i'd say it sounds like a good investment. and most people offer that you can have a casual meeting first (for the same price), but that you can get to know them in a café or go for a walk together and see how the vibes are, if you feel safe,.. before investing in the hotel room aswell.

 

[noname223]

as a sexworker (FSSW), i highly approve that. i see nothing wrong in hiring a sex worker, be it for general intimacy, physical touch, talking about problems (or not and just having a good time), getting to know other parts of yourself, exploring sex, ...
i would NOT see a sexworker that offers sex without protection (if they offer it to you, they offer it to anyone, meaning they have a high risk profile).
i can't give you advice on what is the best option in your situation (brothel or seeing an escort at her place/a hotel) because I don't know the circumstances of sex work where you live, but if you have 15k in your bank account and are suicidal anyways, i'd say it sounds like a good investment. and most people offer that you can have a casual meeting first (for the same price), but that you can get to know them in a café or go for a walk together and see how the vibes are, if you feel safe,.. before investing in the hotel room aswell.

Thanks for your advice. I highly appreciate your comment.

Sending hugs :)

 

[chaosdrifter]

Aww, I'm happy I could help! -Feel free to reach out if you have any more questions. <3

just try to take care of your emotions, especially bc u're in a vulnerable position and are sexually inexperienced. If u're hiring a professional, keep in mind that it will be a (hopefully) close, intimate and beautiful experience, but there's no way, it could turn into a private or romantic relationship. Apologies if this feels like stating the obvious—I hope that makes sense!

AAAAND honestly, it's incredibly common for many of my clients not to immediately get hard during our dates (and for thousands of reasons—nerves, physical factors, past trauma from early sexual experiences, or simply needing more time to feel comfortable). Trust me, this is one of the most normal thing in the world. Any sex worker that has a bit of experience and sensitivity will know how to navigate the situation with care and understanding. Whether through open communication, creating a relaxed atmosphere, or exploring other ways to connect, we know how to handle it

Also, it's important to remember that hiring a sex worker doesn't mean you have to have sex with them. There are so many other things you can do together: cuddling, enjoying a full-body hot oil massage, making out, deep conversations, bondage, role-playing, or simply exploring sensuality in ways that feel authentic/exciting for you. The experience is about your comfort and desires, whatever they may be.