I chickened out.

[posec]

I was supposed to hang myself last night like I planned, I had everything ready. I just couldn't fucking do it. Why am I such a disappointment? I can never succeed at anything, I cant even get the guts to actually kill myself. I want to die so bad but I just can't bring up the courage to actually do it. I never get anything right or finish anything. I hate living but I'm too much of a fucking pussy to die. I don't know what to do.

 

[Snake of Eden]

hey there, dont beat up yourself about it because survival instinct is very deep and basic for us so we can not overcome it easily. Many of us are just trapped because we can not bring ourself to die. I for one have N which is considered the holy grail of suicidal methods yet i cant bring myself to drink it even though thats all i got to do is just to drink it. it is such a difficult position to be in and so many of us are in the same position as you. I wish you find peace alive or dead

 

[posec]

hey there, dont beat up yourself about it because survival instinct is very deep and basic for us so we can not overcome it easily. Many of us are just trapped because we can not bring ourself to die. I for one have N which is considered the holy grail of suicidal methods yet i cant bring myself to drink it even though thats all i got to do is just to drink it. it is such a difficult position to be in and so many of us are in the same position as you. I wish you find peace alive or dead

thank you so much

 

[Painless_end]

This is very common. I think most of us are like this. No need to feel bad.

Rather, stare at a wall and try to figure out whether you really want to do it and you are 100% sure there is no other way.

Like the above comment said, survival instinct is deep and prevents us from taking our lives until we see no other way out.

 

[Everybody_yells]

I cant even get the guts to actually kill myself

One would think that it is the least one could do at this point, and if we cannot do this, that much downtrodden we are. But trust me, it takes more than courage for someone to plan ctb, let alone carry it out. I struggle myself everyday between my need to exit and the possibility of me being able to successfully carry it out.

Don't sweat it now. Just remind yourself that perhaps you are not prepared yet. Take rest and calm yourself for now.

Sending hugss...

 

[S like Siren]

I feel exactly like you,i feel trapped :(

 

[chocolatebar]

Like the others said, you don't have to feel bad for it. It's a tough choice, which is even harder to achieve and everything inside and outside of us will scream for not doing it. In the end, we might do or not do it and there's nothing wrong with either. Try to relax and remember that we're here for you.

 

[posec]

One would think that it is the least one could do at this point, and if we cannot do this, that much downtrodden we are. But trust me, it takes more than courage for someone to plan ctb, let alone carry it out. I struggle myself everyday between my need to exit and the possibility of me being able to successfully carry it out.

Don't sweat it now. Just remind yourself that perhaps you are not prepared yet. Take rest and calm yourself for now.

Sending hugss...

Thank you for the kind words, that made me feel a lot better.

 

[blue_muse]

You're not a p****. Permanently taking yourself outside of life is a test in itself; if anything, it sounds like you want to be absolutely sure about CTB.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand how you feel, it is hard to take our lives as us humans are programmed to survive. The SI can be difficult to overcome and it is one of the things that holds me back. I'm sorry you are suffering, it is like being trapped when you feel like you cannot leave this world and yet you do not want to live. I wish you well.

 

[Worndown]

We can set a date and time for this. If and when it ever happens seems to be on another schedule that we cannot see. It happens when it happens and not a moment sooner. No apology or self deprecating comments needed.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Do not feel bad about that. It's incredibly difficult to overcome our natural instinct imbedded into us. Take the day to relax