i cant think. my head is throbbing. holy shit. anodynes dont work. i cant form cogent sentences in my fucking head. there is zero logic to my thought. i cant think enumeratively, so i am unable to learn things anymore. i used to enjoy learning for the sake of learning. now even reading a couple of sentences is a fucking chore. i hate this. i really wish i could think clearly. in my eyes, if you cant think clearly then you are no better than a creature lacking higher cognition. my existence is just brain fog. i live like a wastrel, staring at a screen all day without anything meaningful coalescing within my mind. im even skeptical of my capacity to take in information. even if it is a ridiculous idea, i am like a ghost in the machine: i am sapient enough to witness my degeneration into something dumb and animalistic, yet unable to do anything about it, as par my fatalism. i stood no chance. how could i compete when i was glued to a screen since i was an infant? fuck. i'm literally a fucking drooling amoeba. what a joke.
