I can’t take it anymore

[beta.orbiter]

I fucking hate my life I can't take this anymore I can't at all I have to rely on my "girlfriend" for happiness but she doesn't talk to me at all she purposely ignores me and comes to me at night she doesn't talk like she does she's dead and devoid of life she doesn't love me anymore I don't know what to do I just can't take it anymore I just had a mental breakdown and stabbed the floor why can't I be loved what am I doing wrong I don't know I hate this I hate how I gave my heart I gave all my feelings and I felt genuine happiness with someone only for them to ignore me maybe I am just a stupid fucking orbiter I don't know what to do now I want to kill myself but I don't own a gun and I refuse any other way of killing myself I just can't I tell her to tell me what's wrong and she rejects me she rejects help I don't have any friends I have nobody now I don't even know why I'm typing this it's not like it matters to anyone it's not like this will make me feel better I've tried everything my life is ruined

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

If I had truly decided I wanted to ctb and didn't own a gun, I'd go buy one, or rent one from the range and do it there. Sorry for your pain.