I can't stand another day putting on the fake mask

[LMLN]

I'm not sure I understand your quoestion sorry. If you mean what reaction from others when my mask cracks and they see at least some of my suffering.......I guess some validation, that they ackknowledge that my feelings are valid and they agree with me that life can be really painful and unfair for some of us.

+ I hate how I am fighting an insane inner battle every day and I don't get the slightest bit of aknowledgement from others on it......some compliments on it........some recognition. It's like having a 24/7 job where the boss don't ackknowledge any of your hard work........nothing........it gets tiring after a while. At some point you just stop trying.

I am complimenting you! I am acknowledging you! I understand. Living in hell everyday is horrible. Especially when others dont see it. ❤

 

[nonamegirl]

I am complimenting you! I am acknowledging you! I understand. Living in hell everyday is horrible. Especially when others dont see it. ❤

Thanks you so much, means a lot <3
And thanks to every else who has reacted to my post. It's nice to find likeminded people on here.

 

[ReadyToFly]

Believe me I know exactly how you feel... I just gave up putting up the mask and told people how I felt and WHY... and that did nothing but make them hate me even more or try to belittle me.

 

[Smokey]

After being "rescued" from an attempt on my life 6 months ago, I opened up to a couple of friends who appeared to listen only to turn their backs & just gossip to everyone about me. My mask will finally be put to rest with me after I help my mother move house in 2 weeks time.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

In 1 hour I have to go to work, and I can't stand the thought :( I can't stand another day of putting on a fake mask, I can't stand being witness to other people who led normal joyful lives. I can't stand people who want to chat about life in a normal way, like "oh the sun is out today, isnt it nice" NO, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT MEANINGLESS STUFF!! It tearing me apart.......today I soooo wish I had the guts to just hang myself right now.

I guess I just need a hug and some understanding.

AMEN I feel you. I hate being part of this community as if I'm happy. Everyday I want to cry after smiling the most out of everyone. I hate masks. I'm sick and tired of this bullshit. I'm just trying to get the fuck out of here.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Thank you so much for posting this, @Soulless_Angel. And thank you to everyone in this community. It's amazing to have a space where we can be honest and authentic and seen.

yea, this is hard world to be honest, esp when no one truely understands,

 

[magic6326884]

yea, this is hard world to be honest, esp when no one truely understands,

If you're lucky all you get is stupid platitudes like "buck up, it'll get better, champ!" It's funny... we as a culture pay so much lip service to the idea that everyone deserves to be seen and to have the freedom to live their truth. But once our truth is out—that we're hurting so much all the time—it makes people uncomfortable and then we lose our right to be seen. The reality is that people are allowed to be seen only when it's not uncomfortable to others. So we retreat further into ourselves and our pain.

Big hugs, @Soulless_Angel. At least we get each other here

 

[faust]

Thank you so much for posting this, @Soulless_Angel. And thank you to everyone in this community. It's amazing to have a space where we can be honest and authentic and seen.

Yes, in the world of fake masks it might be the only place where we can be free from prejudices and be ourselves...

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yeah I feel you I think this summer is it. I'm trying to make it until summer 2021 to be responsible for financial obligations but I think I can only tolerate so much more.

 

[faust]

Yeah I feel you I think this summer is it. I'm trying to make it until summer 2021 to be responsible for financial obligations but I think I can only tolerate so much more.

Oh, I am going this summer. Will you have to pay everything in 2021?

 

[TheOA]

I can't stand too. I wish everyday was my last day.

This, for me, pretty much sums it up. Sometimes, I actually believe that others know or suspect I am faking and just enjoy the performance. Which further adds to the desire to release my spirit from this plane of existence.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

You know i had an experience the other day in this regard. A girl asked how i was and i reply'ed the usual "i'm ok .. and you" this repeated itself 2 times because she wanted a better answers and it ended up in a smile / giggle on her part. Then she was looking in my eyes for a short while and i noticed from her facial expression/ her eyes she was trying to see through (in a matter of speech). I asked "what do you see?" And she replied with "a wall.. a wall inside you" .. gotta say that caught me off guard and i had to act quickly and brush it off/change the subject. This girl is quite smart i must say i actually very luch enjoyed that moment as odd as it may sound.

That is rare. She sounds pretty cool. Whoever she is I think maybe you should hang onto her. And, yeah, I've always liked it when someone can see past the mask, it marks them as an unusually perceptive individual.

 

[Conker]

Believe me I know exactly how you feel... I just gave up putting up the mask and told people how I felt and WHY... and that did nothing but make them hate me even more or try to belittle me.

Such trash should be incinerated into nothingness, or exiled to their own dipshit little nation to have the new healed Earth point & laugh at them. I'm tired of the language of lies which has turned many into robots who have forgotten how to be a human being.

It's sad how a certain percentage of parasitic criminals pretending to be human are destroying the ecosystem which people & other species depend upon.

 

[Midnight]

That is rare. She sounds pretty cool. Whoever she is I think maybe you should hang onto her. And, yeah, I've always liked it when someone can see past the mask, it marks them as an unusually perceptive individual.

Sorry to hear you're in the same boat wearing a mask all your life. It just eats away at someone relentlessly.

She is. Indeed it's very enticing/appealing when someone has that ability. It makes them interesting and beautiful. Holding onto her well i'd like to but i'm not the position to be able to do that i'm afraid. It's a difficult situation (i can explain in pm if needed).

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Sorry to hear you're in the same boat wearing a mask all your life. It just eats away at someone relentlessly.

She is. Indeed it's very enticing/appealing when someone has that ability. It makes them interesting and beautiful. Holding onto her well i'd like to but i'm not the position to be able to do that i'm afraid. It's a difficult situation (i can explain in pm if needed).

If you want to elaborate in pm I'd be interested to listen.