I can't go on like this

[NothingElseMatters]

so many regrets, and it's been rubbing in my face daily, I fucking ruined my future. I could have done so much better.

 

[Beachedwhale]

Are you me? This is exactly what goes through my head 24/7. I'm heavily leaning towards ctb the day after tomorrow.

 

[WornOutLife]

We can't change the past. It sucks but, we can change the future by doing something now!

Hope you can feel better soon, somehow.

Hugs,

Matt

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is such a cruel thing. Our thoughts and regrets can torture us, and we are cursed with not being able to forget anything. Dying makes all of it meaningless. This is why I take so much comfort in death.

 

[BlankUser]

Me too. However, I know that living with regrets won't do shit for me. Life sucks, it hurts, I've been hurt and I've hurt. But I can't turn back the time, I can't change my circumstances. I'm just trying to be better than I was and I'm just trying to suck it up and go on. Basically life is all about distraction to me nowadays.

 

[WornOutLife]

Hard determinism says no.

Well, it could be right!
My life has changed a lot and my future seems to be much better than my past but I think the end of the road will be the same: CTB instead of a natural death.

 

[arslongavitabrevis]

so many regrets, and it's been rubbing in my face daily, I fucking ruined my future. I could have done so much better.

Living with the regrets that weigh the most is a full time job but know that regret isn't something you're carrying alone as much as the burden feels like its solely yours. Shame is not yours alone to carry and is often heavily skewed by your mind being a dickhead to you. You're not a terrible person.

 

[Deleted member 8579]

so many regrets, and it's been rubbing in my face daily, I fucking ruined my future. I could have done so much better.

Are you me? This is exactly what goes through my head 24/7. I'm heavily leaning towards ctb the day after tomorrow.

I don't know anything about your personal circumstances and past, and I can not claim to be in the possession of some profound insights about life.
Therefore, I hope that no one will misconstrue the following as patronising platitudes.

From what I can gather, the both of you seem to have a will to live, to be precise: you wouldn't be suicidal if you could undo the errors of the past.
I presume that both of you are at peace with the thought of taking your own lives and may even have completed your preparations.
This means that there is no rush to kill yourself, unless there are external factors pushing you to do so.
It is very well possible that you have exhausted every alternative, but if you haven't, this would be the perfect opportunity to try; what do you have to lose?
Needless to say, I very much respect your decision, whatever it may be, and hope that your pains will soon come to an end, one way or the other.

 

[GreenTree]

Feel your pain man. It's truly horrible ain't it. Battling your ownmind every second.