scotchtape
Member
- Jun 29, 2023
- 9
hi, im so glad i found this place where i can just tell someone how I'm feeling without being looked at differently.
i don't know how to explain all of this but ill try my best. ive always struggled with self esteem issues and confidence issues for most of my life. i always saw myself as different than others which always made me scared to talk to others because I thought I would be made fun of if I did. regardless, I still had friends and people saw me as "normal" which surprised me. i never really tried a relationship or tried to date a girl at all, but I knew this one girl who was friends with me who I thought was cute so I really stepped out my comfort zone for her. we hit it off and i really felt like we had a connection together. at work we flirted with each other and since we worked together it was the perfect opportunity to talk with her and get to know her better. i could go on all day talking about what we did together but everyone i knew at work told me that there's no way she didn't like me. we went out together on what i thought was a lunch date. we got food and i spent 50$ on her that day. i thought it went well and when i asked her if she wanted to do it again it seemed like she was down for a 2nd. everything was going fine up until a few days ago where somehow someone at work found out that we went out, and when someone asked her, she simply said that "it wasn't a date, and we just hung out", and she told me that "she doesn't want people to think we are dating". it kinda hurt but i didn't think that much of it because we weren't dating, so it kinda made sense. i asked her if she had plans that day after work and that we should hang but she said that she was gonna go to the gym, so again i didn't mind and was fine with that. turns out she hung out with her ex that day and her ex rubbed it in my face by sending me pictures of them, which really hurt me a lot. i ignored her at work for a few days because i felt like i was betrayed and i felt like an option to her, but i decided to talk to her about it because she seemed really upset about it and wanted to talk to me really badly, and i wanted to see what happened. to sum it up, i told her that i feel like she doesn't care about me in a friend way no more and she said she was really sorry and ofc she cares about me like that, but then i asked her what are we since she straight lied to my face about going to the gym and hung out with her ex instead, which i can't lie came off really rude probably but i was really pissed off. then she sent me a huge paragraph explaining how she wasn't looking for a relationship between me or anyone and she doesn't wanna ruin our friendship since we were really close. i told her that i appreciate her honesty but it seems like shes really mad at me because i came off too rude in that text, but i don't know. i feel like she used me as i spent a lot of money on her and i really stepped out my comfort zone on this one, and i feel like I'm only an option for her. but another side of me feels like i was really rude to her about it and she doesn't owe me anything, and i ruined a friendship about it. its been stressing me out and made me cry all weekend as i truly loved her and i feel like i was used, and i gotta see her at work and I'm scared about that too. it ruined my confidence too since now i see myself as someone who can easily be used by someone and someone who can easily be taken advantage of and that's what i feel like everyone sees me as. thank you for listening to all of this, i just want some advice.
i don't know how to explain all of this but ill try my best. ive always struggled with self esteem issues and confidence issues for most of my life. i always saw myself as different than others which always made me scared to talk to others because I thought I would be made fun of if I did. regardless, I still had friends and people saw me as "normal" which surprised me. i never really tried a relationship or tried to date a girl at all, but I knew this one girl who was friends with me who I thought was cute so I really stepped out my comfort zone for her. we hit it off and i really felt like we had a connection together. at work we flirted with each other and since we worked together it was the perfect opportunity to talk with her and get to know her better. i could go on all day talking about what we did together but everyone i knew at work told me that there's no way she didn't like me. we went out together on what i thought was a lunch date. we got food and i spent 50$ on her that day. i thought it went well and when i asked her if she wanted to do it again it seemed like she was down for a 2nd. everything was going fine up until a few days ago where somehow someone at work found out that we went out, and when someone asked her, she simply said that "it wasn't a date, and we just hung out", and she told me that "she doesn't want people to think we are dating". it kinda hurt but i didn't think that much of it because we weren't dating, so it kinda made sense. i asked her if she had plans that day after work and that we should hang but she said that she was gonna go to the gym, so again i didn't mind and was fine with that. turns out she hung out with her ex that day and her ex rubbed it in my face by sending me pictures of them, which really hurt me a lot. i ignored her at work for a few days because i felt like i was betrayed and i felt like an option to her, but i decided to talk to her about it because she seemed really upset about it and wanted to talk to me really badly, and i wanted to see what happened. to sum it up, i told her that i feel like she doesn't care about me in a friend way no more and she said she was really sorry and ofc she cares about me like that, but then i asked her what are we since she straight lied to my face about going to the gym and hung out with her ex instead, which i can't lie came off really rude probably but i was really pissed off. then she sent me a huge paragraph explaining how she wasn't looking for a relationship between me or anyone and she doesn't wanna ruin our friendship since we were really close. i told her that i appreciate her honesty but it seems like shes really mad at me because i came off too rude in that text, but i don't know. i feel like she used me as i spent a lot of money on her and i really stepped out my comfort zone on this one, and i feel like I'm only an option for her. but another side of me feels like i was really rude to her about it and she doesn't owe me anything, and i ruined a friendship about it. its been stressing me out and made me cry all weekend as i truly loved her and i feel like i was used, and i gotta see her at work and I'm scared about that too. it ruined my confidence too since now i see myself as someone who can easily be used by someone and someone who can easily be taken advantage of and that's what i feel like everyone sees me as. thank you for listening to all of this, i just want some advice.
